For saying I’m applying to other roles

[ForOliveShaker]

So, I work really hard where I am. I realise there’s no point as I’m just a number and that’s okay. But regardless I’m competitive and believe in working hard and ensuring great outcomes.
I was once getting lunch with my manager and they said in passing “we were talking in an slt meeting and said how sad we’d be if you went. We know you’ll want a management very soon so it’s a shame”
I’ve noticed my manager changes their mood like the wind though. Sadly I’ve watched it a few times and realistically it’s more great management. Their predecessor was good with compassion etc this manager. Not so much.
Anyway; I found out that I had been called to interview. Pulled my manager aside to let them know. Their response was “okay. You may have a problem with listing two references from here that’s an issue I had before” it’s specifically stated on the app to provide 2 from current workplace so I mentioned that. They just said okay. Director once said “please don’t let that be a form for a leave request for interview” and it was just a medical appt. Now suddenly all I got was “that’s a shame to hear but thank you for letting me know”
AIBU and pathetic that I hoped for at least an “ah okay that’s a shame but I understand you want to progress” nothing. Nothing at all.
I know I’m a number I know I mean nothing. But sometimes just a slight bit of appreciation would help.

I would never tell a current employer I'm looking for a new job tbh... I think you're expecting something out of the ordinary.

You never ever tell a current employer you’re interviewing

Agree with PPs but also I'm not sure what the problem is... They said "that's a shame but thank you for letting me know," and you wanted them to say "that's a shame but I know you want to progress"? They're pretty much the same sentence tbh

You never tell your current employer and manager that you are interviewing outside your current company or organisation. It’s rare a new potential employee will contact for references pre-offer and it’s bad for you to burn bridges and seem disloyal before you have a new job in hand.

In certain professions it's impossible not to let your current employer know you're applying elsewhere though. Teaching for example.

We have to.

Why on earth are you telling them you’re looking elsewhere? Odd behaviour, then to expect them to be telling you what a shame it would be is bizarre.

Work in education. We have no choice.

Now suddenly all I got was “that’s a shame to hear but thank you for letting me know”
AIBU and pathetic that I hoped for at least an “ah okay that’s a shame but I understand you want to progress” nothing.

I don’t see a big difference between what you wanted and what you got.

Honestly, I’m not sure what you’re expecting here. Them to beg you to stay? That would be unprofessional. I’ve told a manager before that I was applying for external roles, and I’ve been told it as a manager. If I’m confident that they’re looking to move on because that’s the right thing for them, I’d be supportive of it.

Nope. Education requires you to disclose for safeguarding reasons and cover.

I have a team member I manage who seems a little like you. Very competent but boy does she like to let everyone know. I can thank her multiple times in a week and it still doesn't seem enough. She is also very quick to criticise others even when they're flat out with work and achieving well themselves.

If you want more responsibility; find a new job. Your role may not be able to take on more responsibility and that's fine. Moving onwards and upwards is a very normal direction of travel in a career.

That’s nice but I don’t get thanked ever. So unfortunately I don’t know about that.

Then move on if you're not happy? You won't be the first person who's decided the culture/role/manager/team wasnt for them.

This.

Your employer is only as good as your last pay cheque.

They don't care about you
They've never cared about you
The applies to all employers, past, present & future.

Totally agree. I do need to get a grip.

I think you’re expecting a little too much from bush people. That’s all. Nothing earth shattering or personal.