To think most three / four year olds are in FT preschool?

[thinnerthanher]

I ask because I don’t see any of them. My own nearly four year old has just one day off with me but I don’t really see why at groups or events. AIBU?

I ask because I just don’t see any, even in groups where it’s 0-4, they are composed pretty much entirely of one and two year olds

Pre school is a big thing round us - all of the primary schools have a pre school attached for 3 year olds. Thats not the same everywhere I don’t think. A lot of DC go, although not all. A lot still go to private nurseries, in order for their parents to not have to worry about school holidays for one final year.

Most DC in pre school go anywhere from 3-5 days, 9-3 +/- wrap around. A lot are full time.

However, I think the main reason you don’t see 3 or 4 year olds at toddler groups is that they have outgrown them. Prior to DC1 starting school, on the 1.5 days I had with him I wouldn’t have considered taking him to a toddler group much beyond 3.

@thinnerthanher sorry just read his birthday is November. So about to be 4?
If yes then that is unusual to not be using the 15 hours of free education (I am assuming you are in England - apologies if not).

My nearly 4yo goes to nursery 4 afternoons a week, 1 day she is with my MIL. She does swimming, but otherwise we don’t go to organised groups anymore because the day would be too hectic. Before she got the 15 free hrs we did.

He is using them but not every day. Three days a week. I work then and he is at home with me for two days.

It’s probably true he’s outgrown the groups but my youngest enjoys them still!

I think most people would probably tailor the activities around the 3-4 year old and bring the younger one along as opposed to the other way round. On my day off with DC1 we’d do more of a ‘day out’ and the toddler would come along too. I can’t imagine trying to contain a bored 3 or 4 year old at a toddler group!

My 3/4 year old DCs (in their final year before starting school) weren't full time. They started the year doing three mornings (9:30-12), I increased this to three mornings plus lunch after Christmas and then three full days (9:30-3) in the summer term. We had to pay for a lot of it though (only 15 funded hours back then) and didn't need the childcare which slightly influenced my decision.

My son goes to playgroup in the morning five days a week.
Afterwards / at the weekend I wouldn’t bring him to another similar group. We’d go to the playground / shops / Granny’s house. He doesn’t have any other classes yet.

My assumption (few years ago for me though):

• Not working: Send child to pre-school x 5 mornings a week (15 hours)
• Working: Keep child in existing setting for 30 plus hours and put the funding towards it OR
• Working: Re-enroll in a pre-school if it does wraparound or you work shorter than full time days.

If part time arrangement is working some days and not others...mixed approach to the 'working' options above, with a variety of approaches.

ETA my DS did 30 hours anyway as I was working but if I hadn't been I probably wouldn't have taken him out to another play group if he'd already been to nursery for the morning.

My daughter attends pre school 3 days a week - we added a day when she became entitled to the 30 free hours so maybe others have done the same?

I don't really take her to groups anymore though. Thinking about it I don't know why we stopped, we just do other stuff!

Most DC I know either did 3/4 longer days at day nursery and then a day or two with a parent/grandparent or they did 5 shorter days at a pre-school nursery in term time.

Last year my DS2 did 3 long days at nursery and my DM looked after him the other two days. DS1 did similar when he was that age.

Usually if they were doing less it was because mum was on maternity leave with a you get sibling.

Mine were part time at preschool but they did mornings, and of course toddler groups were usually mornings. But even when DC only did three mornings in preschool they found groups a bit boring and babyish once they were age 3 upwards and they had fewer peers to play with. Youngest probably had fewer toddler group opportunities because of that, but then they got more swimming/play date/softplay/local farm opportunities, so I don’t think they missed out.

Mine isn’t quite FT, 1 afternoon off, but we use that for swimming lessons. Others I know might be mornings only at preschool but by the time you go home and have lunch there isn’t long enough to do anything except maybe a quick playground trip before older siblings need collecting from school. I think it’s more common to drag the youngest to whatever the eldest is doing e.g. have them wait for the duration of a gymnastics class than it is for eldest to be dragged along to a baby/toddler group.

I remember that feeling! DD is the oldest in her school year, and it was noticeable 🤣

Might be that many have one or two days with parents so they’re either at established groups or the groups aren’t great timings. My nearly 4yo has one day with me, 2 nursery and 2 elsewhere. On my days we swim, walk the dog, and hopefully do something else fun which varies but i don’t commit to other classes because I like to mix it up as we do t have loads of time

As a teacher, I've never found that to be the case and nor have I seen that with my friends (got a 4 and 6 year old so know plenty of little ones). Pretty much everyone I know put their babies in nursery at age 1 after mat leave and kept the same number of days until school, usually 3 (both parents working 4 days), with the 30 free hours as age 3, as it was, being a bonus when it came off the bill. I was quite surprised actually when a friend put her 3 year old in a full-time school nursery, despite being a SAHM.

I don't really know anyone who really goes to stay-and-play groups with their 3/4 year olds, mine just potters about with me and a few I know do pre-school gymnastics, swimming or dance.

Oh and I agree with a pp, when you have a school age child you spend a lot of the day doing the school run and facilitating their extra-curriculars. There just isn't the same need to fill the day when you only really have 9.30-2.45 available.

I've noticed the same. When DD was smaller it was rare to see 3-4yr olds at playgroups. She is now about to turn 4 and in nursery 9-3 5 days a week

I don’t think he is bored to be fair @VivaVivaa but he has outgrown them I guess. And we do things in the afternoons more suited to him. My youngest is a non walker so that limits what we can do a fair bit.

My eldest was in full time pre school from 3 and a half - my youngest was was 3 days a week at 3 and full time by 4

I don’t think I’m dragging him anywhere, just trying to find things suitable for them both

My son never went to pre-school 5 days per week. The first year it was 2.5 days and the second year 3.5 days. I think it depends on your personal circumstances.

I've found a lot of 3 year olds near me start nursery at 3, which used to be just half days but now the funding allows for full days more are doing that, so they stop playgroups. But that's usually kids of non working parents. Most working parents are either full time so they use private childcare (for the longer hours) or if part time they do take the kids to playgroups still on their days off. I've no idea why people seem to think a 3/4 year old is too old for playing with toys, doing crafts, singing etc. what do you think they are doing at nursery school?

That’s the thing, I don’t think the group topics are too young, it’s more the other kids - he’s so much bigger it’s really noticeable!

DC1 went to private nursery for 2 full days a week (8.30-5.30) before turning 3, as we needed the childcare. After he turned 3 we increased it to 3 full days a week.

DC2 did the same; 2 full days a week before turning 3, and after she turned 3 I decided to send her to the preschool attached to DC1's school for 1 day a week. It's a short day though (9-3) and no good on days when DH and I both work, as there's no wraparound care - the preschool doesn't do extra hours, the after school club doesn't take preschool kids, and I couldn't find a childminder who would collect from preschool. So it only works because I don't work on the day DC2 is at preschool.

DC2 is 4 now (September birthday) and gets 1 full day with each parent, 2 full days at private nursery, and 1 short day at preschool.

I can't see how it would be practical to send your 3/4 year old to preschool every day unless they have a SAHP, or someone with a unicorn job working 9.15-2.45 term time only, or the preschool offers wraparound care.

Oh and I meant to say, on our days off with DC2, we do activities like swimming lessons, preschool gym class, or just go to the park, play at home, do errands etc. We don't do playgroups any more, she's definitely outgrown them and most of her friends there have started school now (she is a September baby and had a lot of friends who were just a few months older).