To say I can’t do it

[sunflowersandpumpkins]

I can’t work and sort the house and children. I just can’t.

Of course i do because I have to. But I am conscious I do a shit job. I know others manage so I’m sure it’s just me who is rubbish. Hate it.

Well what's the alternative?

It sucks doesn't it.

The way other people manage is collar and cuffs... If it worries you that people are judging you for what ever reason then just show them the collars and cuffs you have ironed.

When I was going through a really bad financial patch I used to buy my mum a cheap bunch of flowers and wrap them in the pages of the FT borrowed from the paper recycling bin.

People only see what you show them.... And life is too short to be concerned about what people think of the ironing pile.

Does this run deeper? Are you being expected to take all the burden whilst other family members watch you struggle ?

It's not just you, and I'm sure you're not rubbish; if you were and didn't care you wouldn't be bothered.

Time to have a think about what you can do to make things easier. Do you have a partner? Can you afford a cleaner? Reduce work hours doable etc?

Tell us how old your DC are and we can share life hacks?

Strip back anything unnecessary. Fuck ironing. Clean kitchen and bathroom with sinks and loos a priority.
Clean clothes, food and clean pots to eat from and cook in.

Clean beds every couple weeks.
Sometimes something has to give and you have to make sure it's not yourself.
Quickly hoover round when get chance.
The world won't end if house isn't spotless.

Being organised and having a solid routine is key.

Who is meant to be helping with the load on you and isn't?

What can you stop doing?

It's not just you op you see women struggling all the time to do it all. Men in relationships never seem to struggle as much!

How many adults in the house? What ages are the children? Honestly as long as you manage the basics ( I sent my son to school in a shirt that was frebreezed this morning as he didn’t have a clean one, not my finest moment but shit happens and I just didn’t get the whites wash timing right) but only we know that. He smells fresh and has uniform. Work out what needs doing, what is nice to do and split the chores amongst all who are old enough.

So

DC are 1 and 3. Both preschool.

I work three days a week but that’s part of the problem, I miss things because of the days I’m not working and deadlines have to be made early.

I hate it. Feel permanently stressed.

Stay at home with the kids for a few years.

We have to work till we are 67 now so i'm not convinced that taking a few years out of the workplace in 45 years is the career suicide we've been led to believe it is.

This sounds like it might be a problem on your employers’ side - you shouldn’t be expected to deliver a full time job in part time hours. When considering a part time request they need to factor in how it will work.

Also, are you a single parent or do you have a partner who should be shouldering some of this load?

So I would be talking to your employer. Are you doing compressed hours? If not have they reallocated your work load? Do you have any power over deadlines? You shouldn’t be disadvantaged for being part time