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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Not sure what I'm asking. .

4 replies

DaffodilPants · 18/10/2024 01:06

So imagine a close family member is very ill, and it's touch and go.
They're not old, just a random thing that could turn out to be serious but they could equally get better with the right treatment.

Or not!! We just don't know.

So my husband is saying "oh it's nothing, oh don't worry about it"
And then becomes testy with me because of course I'm worrying about it.
And my constant worrying upsets his social plans because he isn't at all worried about anything. He's not a worrier. So I say I can't go make jolly with his friends while I'm waiting for some very short term results. Because I'm worried, and I can't socialise while I'm so worried. It's not forever. Just while this health thing becomes more clear. A month or so until we have some clear results.

He says we should go ahead with jollification (or invitations to dinner) because it takes your mind off it.
Nothing takes my mind off it. It's a strain to pretend to be having a good time whilst you have this black cloud of worry hanging over you. So my question is, am I being unreasonable?

YABU Yes, you should go out, get drunk, and fuck worrying.

YANBU It's really difficult to pretend to be having a good time and make small talk whilst a close relative is quite ill and might not get better.

OP posts:
catandcoffee · 18/10/2024 01:12

very difficult to answer.

Do what is right for you.

RobertaFirmino · 18/10/2024 01:13

What would your relative tell you to do? If you went to them and said that the constant worrying is affecting your life and stopping you from enjoying yourself, what would they say?
If this was a reverse and your relative was worried about you, what would you tell them?

DaffodilPants · 18/10/2024 01:23

What would your relative tell you to do? If you went to them and said that the constant worrying is affecting your life and stopping you from enjoying yourself, what would they say?

It's a child. A very young child. Too young to comprehend my worries.

OP posts:
peppermintteacup · 18/10/2024 01:26

You feel how you feel.

If it means you don't want to or enjoy going out then that's the way it is.

It might be worth trying to go out for dinner once to see if that lifts your spirits. But if that doesn't work and you don't enjoy it all then I'd say don't force yourself. Do what works for you and let him attend without you.

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