Baby night feed AIBU??

[Ozzy91]

For context, my husband and I have a 8 week old baby, he's formula fed but as my husband works (I'm on maternity leave), I do 6 out of the 7 night shifts and he does one (Fridays). This evening at quarter to ten, baby wanted to feed so I made up a bottle which dh happily took and started feeding him. I then got everything ready for the night shift and took to the bedroom. I then went downstairs and said I might go up to bed and could he bring the baby up once he's finished feeding. His response was to get annoyed and say I stitched him up!! I feel this is unfair - am I meant to sit downstairs until he's fed or is it not okay for me to get to bed half an hour before him? AIBU to ask this of him? Thanks.

Just ignore it. Don't argue with him and, more importantly, don't take over. He'll get used to idea that it's his child eventually. It's really important to calmly stand your ground in these early stages.

YANBU.

You're not unreasonable and a 10pm feed is not a night feed! Presumably you will be getting up in the night so your partner can surely have him for a short period. Go to bed and if he wants to sulk and feel sorry for himself, let him!

What the hell is wrong with these men. How have you "stitched him up"

Jesus, baby feeds from bottle, burp baby if required, bring baby upstairs, job done.
Why do some men make a big song and dance about absolutely nothing.

A woman wouldn't even give this a second thought.

You did nothing wrong!

He's being an idiot and should enjoy time alone with his baby.

YANBU. I hope you went to bed.

You're doing more than the share already, he gets to hand over then sleep all night!! my baby was formula fed due to rejecting breast (severe tongue tie turned out) and was and is still at 15 months a rubbish sleeper so my husband and I split the nights and from 9 months do night on night off. Being off work with the baby was and is a much harder job than work mentally and the physically exhausting at times! Unless your husbands job is heavy machinery or driving etc and he must have 8 hours sleep then he could be doing more to get you the rest you need and not then complaining too because he fed the baby at 10pm. At least he could do two nights a week, Friday and Saturday so he's still getting sleep on work nights.

Tensions get easily frayed during the newborn stage. You are not being unreasonable. Go to bed and get what rest you can. He’s perfectly capable of bringing his child up to bed

And to add. My DH did more than half the night feeds with all of ours. Maternity leave is far from a holiday.

He's pathetic. You should be going to bed at 8.30pm and him bringing baby to bed at 11/12 and putting baby next to you then and then he can go to sleep. He should also have baby for an hour before work in the morning so you can snooze or shower etc.

Ps no mother can do 24 hours a day alone with no rest and sleep. I lived with my parents with a new born and I did all night then they took baby from 7am-10am so I could finally sleep.

This

Jesus! My wx was pretty useless and I was breast-feeding and In the early days he I slept early evening and he looked after the baby and would gently wake me when he needed feeding. I would probs go to sleep at 8ish for a few hours then feed him.

How is him climbing a flight of stairs stitching him up. Twat.

Op if he's always this bad take baby and go and stay at your mums for a few weeks or yoj burn out

He is pathetic indeed. 'stitched him up'?? who on earth thinks in this way about having to looking after their own baby for half an hour? was he always this pathetic? so deeply unattractive.

I loved that thread about things people found attractive in a man, and the dominant theme was competence. Tell him competence will make him more attractive to you, and that he's a father now and needs to act like one.

I had this sort of thing happening a lot. My husband would often fall asleep as well so I ended up feeling like it was risky to leave him to be ‘in charge’ if I went to bed early. Our agreement when baby was in a bit of a routine was meant to be that I did the 3am and early morning feed but my husband would stay up to do the 11/11.30 one. At first I was planning to leave it and see if he stayed up but within the first few days it had become apparent he was going to go to sleep before this and not set an alarm. I’d then have to repeatedly shout and shake him to wake up to the point it was actually just easier to feed the baby. In the end up I did pretty much it all second time round. I caught my husband at a family BBQ in the summer talking to a relative with a new baby saying he found the nights really hard! I was only listening in from nearby but couldn’t help but march over to correct him 😳 Our second baby (now a toddler) is very very clingy to me now, to the point she will scream the house down if I leave and my husband is there. I’m 99% sure it’s because it was me all of the time

Perhaps you should speak to your health visitor again? You might not have been able to premake bottles when he was younger but if he’s 7 months, that’s probably changed. I assume he’s been weaned too so shouldn’t need night feeds as much moving forward.
top tip. Even if you’re asleep earlier, wake at 11pm. Change his nappy, give him a bottle when he’s not screaming for it and he will probably sleep through the night. Mine did and it too a huge amount of stress out of things. X

OP says baby is 8 weeks not 8 months.