To ask how you keep faith in humanity after people have hurt or let you down?

[NimblePoster]

I’ve had some bad experiences where people have treated me poorly, and it’s making me cynical about others in general. How do you keep faith in humanity after facing situations like this? Is it possible to avoid becoming jaded when you’ve been let down?

I don't have complete faith in anyone and am not particularly surprised if I'm let down.

I try and remember that my grandparents, parents and a few others were/are amazing and hold them in my thoughts.

I try and do right by my loved ones. I make mistakes but I really do my best for my loved ones. I am not unique, many people must be like me.

But I get what you are saying and it’s really hard some days.

As @Atissues says, if you are a good person then you know good people exist. Now think of a few more. Remind yourself of them every time that negativity starts to seep through. Most of all, continue to be a good person even when you feel like telling the world to F off. I'm a bit believer that every positive social interaction does good, your smile at a stranger may change their interaction with someone else etc, kind of a butterfly effect.

I always say "don't let the bastards turn you into one of them" a deliberate play on the "don't let the bastards grind you down" advice.

It's worked for me.

Adopt the let them attitude.

People can be disappointing but you just need to let go of that and focus on what you can control i.e. yourself, if you value being a good person then don't let the actions of others stop you living with integrity.

Sometimes you just have to manage your disappointment. I keep thinking the first-time posting OP will come back to one of these threads but nope. Never happens. Maybe one day. Keep the faith.

If people are good to me that does not mean everyone is good so if people are bad to me that does not make everyone bad

I am neither good or bad so I don't assume others are one or the other

😂

OP after being let down a lot, I'm jaded.

I don't let it affect my demeanour- i hope - but inside, I'm jaded and I don't see how it can be avoided unless I suddenly get a whole new bunch of people who are lovely. Which is unlikely.

I don’t have much faith in people either… I think it’s best to not rely on others and be somewhat self sufficient as much as you can to avoid feeling let down. Maybe I am really cynical!! x

I find most people to be generally good and decent, and if they fall short I remind myself that we all judge ourselves by our intentions, yet other people by their actions, and try to reverse that.

Besides which, if you spend your life being mistrustful and always assuming the worst of people, it affects you negatively far more than it does anybody else, so it’s a damaging way to approach things.

I can understand how u feel OP and experiences can make u cynical. But then I experience some truly humbling care and kindness. Please try and remember that

OP, I hear what you're saying. And I understand.
But I think you have to keep in mind that we're all learning. We're all human. And humans make mistakes. They fuck up. They let people down. They hurt others feelings. But very few people actually mean to do those things to others with intent. Mostly, they just haven't learnt how to avoid upsetting others. There's all sorts of reasons for this.
But try not to judge.
Most people who cause hurt to others are hurting themselves.
If they were happy, joyful souls then they would only treat you with happiness and joy.
If they're treating you poorly, then they themselves have been treated poorly by life or by others and this is what they in turn project on to others. It won't be only you that these people are upsetting or treating badly, they will be treating other people badly too.
So keep the faith OP.
We're all on a journey through life. We're all learning, evolving, dealing with our own life experiences.
Detach from how they've treated you poorly. Try hard to see it as a problem that they are having and are projecting on to you. Walk away. Don't look back. Leave them to it. They are not your responsibility. Hold your head up high, proud, with grace and dignity, and walk on. Walk on through your own journey and you will find good people along the way. I promise you that. Because there are millions of them out there. ♥️

Hugs op, going through a possible break up with the love of my life and finding it hard to see the positives in people lately, I’m drawn to the negatives. Trying to sleep more and surround myself with positivity entertainment wise, also shopping in places where I know lovely people serve etc. hope everything works out x

@ComtesseDeSpair "we all judge ourselves by our intentions"

blimey. I would never think to do that. I judge myself by my outcomes. My intentions are very different 😂

One person’s’treating me poorly’ is another person ‘impossible expectations’ so it is tricky to tell.

personally I don’t ask people to do things I haven’t done for them, and always have a back up plan.

and find that mainly people are lovely and really nice.

Can you give us an example? As a previous poster says, one person’s disappointment is another’s unreasonable expectation.