To ask how people become good at staying neutral and mysterious in social situations?

[ThatDeepFox]

I find it hard to keep my opinions or emotions in check and often feel like I’m too open with people. I’d love tips on how to master the art of being more reserved and keeping an air of mystery.

I realised that I was doing the leg work of conversation in certain situations and people were using me a cover not to speak or participate. Once that light bulb went off I kept shut. Let the lazy beggars do some work.

Why do you want to be more private?
I wouldn’t go to far the other way, you could end up quite isolated. But then I love people who are all in and have large personalities, I think I’m suspicious of people who don’t share anything and there’s a difference between being shy and quiet verses secretive.

Don't get involved in anyone's drama, don't be a gossip, don't be judgemental, don't bitch about anyone.

However, call out sexism, racism, bullying etc if you see it happening (without being confrontational which can be a challenge).

Wear a hat? One with a large brim.

I always think people in hats are mysterious.

In my personal life I am an open book with my trusted circle, but I have very rigid rules about sharing personal opinions and information at work. I happily chat with people, but rather than reveal information about my life, I tend to listen, deflect and ask questions. I find that as long as I appear interested and jovial, people either don’t notice or aren’t upset that I’m not sharing personal details or opinions.

I cultivated this idea or image in my teens and twenties and I think it works if you are so beautiful that this is enough to draw people to you. If you are just kind of ordinary then you just fade into the background and nobody notices you at all. Further to this I know some people who never say much at all at gatherings even if you try to engage them in conversation and rather than seeming mysterious they just seem kind of dull and boring.

Its a very delicate balance to strike in reality to pull the mysterious woman vibe off.

Show no interest in anyone.
People take your kindness for weakness!

Lovely post, very demure, very mindful, you're not like those other demagogues.

😆

Why would you want to be like this?

These kinds of people are boring and bring nothing to the table in conversational terms.