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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To go to a book festival event on my own?

37 replies

GoldOnyx · 17/10/2024 19:14

I bought 2 tickets to an event - a literature festival talk - near me next week and asked a friend a couple of weeks ago if she’d like to come. Unfortunately I got the event date wrong and I said it was yesterday.

The event is taking place not far from our workplace, so she went to our workplace yesterday specifically because of it. I didn’t check my messages yesterday until 5/6ish, and saw she’d texted to check the event was still on and it was only then when I realised I’d given her the wrong date. I apologised big time as soon as I’d realised my mistake. I felt really bad and also pretty embarrassed that I’d messed up, as I just hadn’t realised I’d made a mistake with the date and it’s really out of character for me to do.

She’s replied and has been very kind about it, and said she can’t make it next week. I just feel really stupid at myself. The only thing I can think that I did it is that I’ve had a lot on at work recently, so have been focusing on that and not really had as much time as usual for other stuff.

I’m checking with a couple of other friends to see if they’d like to come, but not sure if they’ll be able to. If no one else can come, would I be unreasonable to go on my own? I really would like to go but also feel a bit weird about going on my own.

I think I’m finding it tricky as I’m feeling stupid that I didn’t double check the date in my invite to my friend, feeling like I let her down and also combined with that feeling awkward at the idea of maybe having to go to the talk on my own.

Thanks all.

OP posts:
Tiredandneedtogotobed · 17/10/2024 19:16

Lots of people go to these types of things on their own (me included). It’ll be fine. I do feel awkward going but I always enjoy them.
(you may be able to get a refund on the other ticket).
Hope you enjoy it!

HotelCustody · 17/10/2024 19:16

I can’t see an issue with going on your own??

ShowerOfShites · 17/10/2024 19:17

Do you think we're all going to say "No, you absolutely must NOT go solo"? 😬😳

GoldOnyx · 17/10/2024 19:19

ShowerOfShites · 17/10/2024 19:17

Do you think we're all going to say "No, you absolutely must NOT go solo"? 😬😳

Well, no of course not. 😂 but I just posted this because I feel awkward about the idea of it and also because I feel like my friend down by giving her the wrong date. I guess I’m just looking for some reassurance tbh!

OP posts:
GoldOnyx · 17/10/2024 19:19

HotelCustody · 17/10/2024 19:16

I can’t see an issue with going on your own??

I agree, but I suppose because I hadn’t planned to go on my own I just feel a bit awkward about it!

OP posts:
Preppingpenguin · 17/10/2024 19:19

Going on your own isn't an issue at all, you'll likely still enjoy it

GoldOnyx · 17/10/2024 19:20

Tiredandneedtogotobed · 17/10/2024 19:16

Lots of people go to these types of things on their own (me included). It’ll be fine. I do feel awkward going but I always enjoy them.
(you may be able to get a refund on the other ticket).
Hope you enjoy it!

Thank you! That’s very kind and really cheered me up.

OP posts:
StillAtTheRestaurant · 17/10/2024 19:22

Of course you can go on your own. In the nicest possible way, no-one else will be paying you the slightest bit of attention, they'll all be focused on the person talking.

GoldOnyx · 17/10/2024 19:24

StillAtTheRestaurant · 17/10/2024 19:22

Of course you can go on your own. In the nicest possible way, no-one else will be paying you the slightest bit of attention, they'll all be focused on the person talking.

Thank you. That’s very true, and exactly what I needed to hear.

OP posts:
ClareBlue · 17/10/2024 19:28

If ever there was an event where going on your own will mot even be noticed, this is it. If you've never been to an event on your own then at least you are going to find out if it is your thing or not. So nothing to lose

Arran2024 · 17/10/2024 19:29

I go to all sorts of stuff on my own and so do lots of other people. I was at a concert last month with my OH and a lady came and sat next to me - she is in her 70s and goes to concerts all the time, and her last one was Bruce Springsteen at Wembley! I have Odeon limitless and go to the cinema on my own. It's a good skill to have.

Hapagirl48 · 17/10/2024 19:30

I go to these things on my own as a treat to myself!

ANagsHead · 17/10/2024 19:31

Definitely go!

And if it makes you feel any better, and you can afford it, get a copy of the relevant book to give to your friend. But don’t worry - we all make mistakes occasionally.

Hapagirl48 · 17/10/2024 19:31

Arran2024 · 17/10/2024 19:29

I go to all sorts of stuff on my own and so do lots of other people. I was at a concert last month with my OH and a lady came and sat next to me - she is in her 70s and goes to concerts all the time, and her last one was Bruce Springsteen at Wembley! I have Odeon limitless and go to the cinema on my own. It's a good skill to have.

I would totally go to Bruce Springsteen on my own but my DH always tags along.

nocoolnamesleft · 17/10/2024 19:33

Sounds like the sort of thing I'd happily go to solo. Now, going to a whole book convention on my own without knowing anyone was a bit of a facer, but so glad I did.

Dinosweetpea · 17/10/2024 19:34

I went to a book festival event last weekend, I went with a friend but it was the sort of thing that would be a perfectly normal thing to go to on your own. You will have a lovely time, everyone there will have shared interests- that's why you are all there x

GoldOnyx · 17/10/2024 19:34

Thanks all. I actually have been to similar events on my own in the past. With this one, because I originally had someone to go with (as I’d invited my friend) and then I got the date wrong so she can no longer come, and feel frustrated at myself, I think that’s affecting my thinking. Does that make sense?

OP posts:
GoldOnyx · 17/10/2024 19:35

I definitely will enjoy it as the person speaking at the event is someone I’ve admired for a while and I’m sure they’ll have lots of interesting things to say.

OP posts:
GoldOnyx · 17/10/2024 19:36

I suppose actually I’m most worried that my scattiness re the event date has affected my friendship. It’s actually worried me a bit too, as I’m normally very organised and it’s something I really pride myself on (just privately - not in a knobbish way!)

OP posts:
MsNeis · 17/10/2024 21:04

Hapagirl48 · 17/10/2024 19:30

I go to these things on my own as a treat to myself!

Haha! I was going to say the same!
Enjoy, OP 😊

EmeraldRoulette · 17/10/2024 21:08

I normally go alone - I'd like company but don't have anyone to come with me

Go. Or take me 😂

I understand your updates but i'm sure she'll let you off one incident of scattiness.

Valeriekat · 18/10/2024 09:02

I love going to events on my own!
I only like going to events with other people if they are going to enjoy them!

YellowphantGrey · 18/10/2024 09:06

I do lots of things on my own as I always feel guilty if someone is with me and like I have to make sure they are having a good time. On my own, I take my own time and do as I please.

I once had a spare ticket for an author event, friend offer to fill the space and was bored and talked through it and scrolled on her phone, ever since I've gone it alone!

Holotropic · 18/10/2024 09:13

I think you’re overthinking getting the date wrong. Everyone does it at some point (look at the current thread on booking wrong flights/wrong airport/ showing up a week early/late), and it’s not as if your friend took a 3-hour train journey to find an empty marquee at the end of it. You’ve apologised. You can’t do any more.

Book events, like cinema and theatre, are among those where there’s very little extra benefit to doing it with friends because you’re essentially sitting silently in a group, watching and listening. Totally go. Or, if it’s near your workplace, are there any colleagues you like you could offer the spare ticket to?

Pancakeflipper · 18/10/2024 09:14

Go.
Lots of people (me included) go to events on their own.

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