DS5 has recently started reception and I feel like some worrying behaviours have emerged I'm not sure how to help him through.
(Brought up by the teachers).
- The set up is teacher does guided learning with 2-3 kids at a time and everyone else is in free flow. He's fine if the teacher is with him, but gets really upset when she turns to help another child and says he wants to go home etc. I chatted to him about that and gave him some alternative options. He will now go to the free flow tables but just stands there giving the things on the table a cursory fiddle whilst his eyes are on the teacher the whole time listening to what she's saying to the other children. He doesn't play with the other children but will quite happily engage in conversation with adults.
To some extent this is nature - even when we went to stay and plays as a baby he'd cling to me during the free play part and then be all ears during the group activity part, and never has played extensively with other children no matter how hard we've tried.
But we've been trying for a year or more to get him to be interested in activities without needing us to play with him all the time as the nursery brought this up as a concern too...he's a lot better and will concentrate on something if we're nearby for ages, if we're elsewhere jn the house for around 10 mins before he comes hunting for us, but clearly this hasn't translated to the classroom! I guess it's still not his choice to be doing the activity without us there, something he's having to do because we're asking him to.
- His behaviour has suddenly gone haywire, pushing against boundaries all day long. We had it quite easy with him in this regard before but it was like a switch flicked the weekend after his first day of school. I thought it was just him getting used to things, but it's nearly half term and rather than it abating he's pushing boundaries in school now too. Eg on the way home he took his seatbelt off, something I've never had to worry about before.
I feel like it's either developmental (a sort of late terrible 2s?) or a reaction to the stress of being in school getting used to the new structure, change etc.e
- He's chewing on his clothes as if he's teething, again I've never had to worry about this. A response to stress, sensory input etc?
I've considered neuro divergence, there is a strong possibility he'll have something as he was born v early and had a brain injury too...but even if he does I feel like we need to take steps to help him through these things way before a diagnosis is possible, and am not sure what to do. To me it feels like school isn't fully meeting his needs and that's coming out in his behaviour and chewing, but I'm fighting the urge to homeschool (a lot of our friends do) because part of me feels like it'll be good for him to get used to being stretched as long as it's not too far. I don't think it's the school itself that's the issue, it's a class of 10, his teacher seems very understanding and he speaks of school fondly, I think it's more how he copes with being away from home, learning new systems, not having an adult at his beck and call, etc.
AIBU - worrying too much?
AINBU - these are concerning