To find it inappropriate when men invite themselves over to my house?

[MyWaryLimePoster]

I’ve noticed a trend where some men I know casually will ask to come over to my house without being invited. It usually happens after just hanging out a few times or in conversations that aren’t leading that way at all. I find it uncomfortable and a bit presumptuous, especially when we’re not that close.

AIBU to think it’s inappropriate for someone to invite themselves over to your personal space, especially when the relationship isn’t that developed? Has anyone else experienced this, and how do you handle it?

Er, just say No? Always effective, no further explanation required.

First response nails it.

I say “no”. How else would you handle it?

What’s the context? Is it a sort of “all back to yours” post-pub place because where they live is less suitable, or more like them turning a normal interaction into a “can I come in for coffee, fnar fnar”?

I would say look harder at your social circle a little more. The type of men who do this are boundary pushing chancers with no respect for women. It's the people you mix with/attract rather than a general trend.

I hope you are saying no every time. And look up the shark cage analogy to protect yourself better.

Could you give an example of how they bring it up?

Ew!

Agree with PP this is about the company you’re keeping. Yucky chancers.

Keep saying no.

This has literally never happened to me. Who are you hanging out with? Just say, god, no and laugh!

I'm not sure there's anything to handle - just say no if you're not comfortable.

Who are these men? Actual friends or blokes masquerading as friends in the hope of a shag?

"No - I fancy going to [wherever] though if you'd like to join me?"
Surely it's not hard

No, you are obviously not being unreasonable. Sadly, you can't stop someone from asking inappropriate questions, but you can control how you respond to them. Not justifying a question you don't like with an answer is a type of response.

Another wondering about the company you keep. I used to live next door to someone who would invite randoms from the pub to hers. She used to tell me about it. It didn't end well and ended up in the headlines. Enough said.

The definition of madness is doing the same thing, and expecting different results. Einstein may or may not have said that. But it's true.

Do some work on identifying the kind of men you're talking about, how they get this assumption, where you're meeting them. Change that.

I don’t think it’s an issue, or necessarily a red flag. I mean, with some it definitely is, but you can kinda tell what their intentions are.

Some people are comfortable having people around early days, some aren’t.

You don’t even have to say an abrupt “no” (unless you wanna shut the whole relationship down). I’d say “oh, sorry, I prefer to get to know someone a bit better before they come round. But let’s do [alternative suggestion].”

Don't let anyone into your house that hadn’t been invited. Like a close female friend that you’ve known for years, fair enough. Other than that, you’re asking to be the next casualty in the news.

Id not answer the door, period. If you allow something to happen once it will happen again.

Curiois how they know where you live ?