What are your top tips for making your life easier with a baby?

[readingismycardio]

So sorry for posting in AIBU but hoping this will help me and other mums in my situation.

I have an almost 8 month old DS. Life has been super tough with bottle refusal due to silent reflux, it's a bit better now, we have started solide 1.5 months ago, going reasonably well-ish, he's putting weight okay, all good. Sleep is decent too - sometimes we still do contact naps during the day, but he's always slept good at night.

However, I am shattered. Months and months of worrying, stress, checking if he's put on weight, cleaning, laundry etc have killed me. My DH supports me a lot with the baby, but still, I do 90% of the housework and admin. That stupid admin and the mental load is killing me.

What can I do to make my life easier re admin, baby, life in general?

I feel like when the baby's 8 months no one is still struggling like I am!

As soon as DD could sit up I bought her a play pen for the living room. It's a game changer. She will happily sit in their and play with a couple of toys whilst I cook and eat dinner. She has got so good at independent play, sometimes I feel bad for interrupting her as she's giggling and babbling to herself.

Meal times. I feed her during the day time (less messy) and the evening meal is done with a nappy then straight into the bath. So much easier.

I don't do loads of meal prep or fancy purées. I use the pouches and pimp them up with extra veggies/ rice etc to make them more lumpy and less sweet

Bag under the pushchair with a spare change of clothes, nappies, wipes, toy ready to go.

Go to baby groups

Distraction. When I'm trying to get her dressed I give her a pack of baby wipes to hold. Or sing tunes or anything really. This morning I gave her a shoe...

Co-sleeping helped me, but you said he's a good sleeper so I'm guessing you're good there.

Get things prepped around you so everything is in arms reach when contact napping. I write a simple to do list. And will make things I need are in easy reach

For housework it's five minute tasks here and there. House is definitely not as clean as before, but I'm not cleaning the kitchen 3 times a day anymore. It gets one deep clean before I go to bed.

Buy lots of baby clothes of vinted... Saves washing. Sell them on when you are done.

Go with the flow.the more you try to control things the harder and more stressful it is.

From a single mum, with love. You sound like your are doing great. Don't be too hard on yourself.

Why are you doing 90% of the housework and admin? I think that's the main tip I'd give - if you've got a DH, he should be doing his share!

Set reminders on your phone about even the smallest things. E.g my phone has just reminded me to buy a multivitamin now that baby's 6 months. Then you can forget about whatever it is, reducing the mental load

Amazon prime or grocery deliveries. Don't kill yourself to go out to buy things if you don't need to

My partner and I have a shared calendar on our phones for appointments, etc. This has stopped him asking me "when is xyz?" And keeps him accountable for those things, too.

A change of clothes, nappies, wipes, muslin, bib, ready-made milk and a spare feeding bottle stays in the pram basket

Baby sits in high chair while I cook / shower/ need a break. I give him a toy and he's safe there

Some days are so hard, all I can manage is to keep my baby safe, warm and fed. Do not beat yourself up if you haven't done 100 activities with baby that day. Tomorrow is a new day

@Waterlogged you sound like a brilliant mum! That's all a baby needs, to be safe, warm, fed and loved.

Oh, and I was beginning to get overwhelmed by feeling like the default parent. I've since started leaving baby with my partner a few times a week, even for an hour, and he has nominated days to do bedtime, bath time, etc. The whole "you're better at it than me" did not run with me. I'm better at it because I spent more time doing. Therefore, he needs to spend more time.

Accept and plan for tasks to be broken into 5m chunks, accepting that you might get interrupted is better than being frustrated that you were interrupted.

thank you

He is - but someone has to stay with the baby... and I do it just so I can get a "break". Ridiculous, I know 😕

Don't try and do housework during the day if it's a struggle but crack on with it with the help of your partner for half an hour once baby is put to bed in the evening .

Spend a few hours one weekend batch cooking to stick in the freezer so you can just defrost and eat during the week .

Stick a washload in the washing machine before going to bed so you can just hang it up to dry / tumble when you get up in the morning .

Prep a little lunch box for yourself the night before so your not juggling baby and prepping your lunch