To ask you to help me be smart about this mat leave issue?

[ConkerGame]

Struggling with this mat leave issue and hoping the viper hivemind can help me work out how to deal with it! Apologies for the length but didn't want to leave out any relevant factors!

I started a new job 18 months ago. I took it in a bit of a hurry as I wasn't planning to leave my old job, which I loved, but found I was completely side-lined (to the point of not being given any work) after returning from my first mat leave, despite things going really well before I took the leave. I had to get out relatively quickly as I knew I wanted a second DC and would need to be in any new job for a year before qualifying for enhanced mat leave.

I told the recruiter from the very start (and kept repeating) that I needed to see the mat leave policy ASAP as I'm the main breadwinner but he kept fobbing me off and in the end I didn't get to see it until after they had offered me the role (after a gruelling 4 round process, which included me staying up until 1am the night before having all of our family round for DC1's first birthday, preparing a presentation), so obviously I was already quite invested by that point.

The policy is terrible. I was really upset with the recruiter and made it clear to him I would never have even interviewed for the role if I'd seen the policy first, as we need the money, but by this point I was very invested and felt rushed as I had interviewed for a couple of other roles which didn't feel right at all. Despite the policy, I really got on with my now boss, the work was a step up and there was a small pay increase. I even raised my concern with my new boss before accepting the role and he told me that the company realised the policy was terrible and were in the process of updating it, so it should be fine by the time I would need to qualify for it.

Fast forward 18 months, the job has been good but I'm now pregnant and of course the policy has not been updated, leaving DH and I in a very stressful situation. It was true that HR were updating it and I was following its progress as part of the Women's Network, so I was as sure as possible it would be updated this summer, but the Board just hasn't approved the new version and it won't be done in time for me, if at all in the near future. We are talking about a big, successful FTSE 100 company here, not some small, struggling start-up or similar, so there is no excuse for it, it's just not a priority so not being done. I know I took a risk when taking on the role but am honestly just so, so disappointed that nothing has improved in 18 months. I also couldn't time my pregnancy perfectly - if it had taken us 6 months or longer to conceive then we would have been ok financially as they have a 2 year enhanced policy which, while not great, is acceptable. However we were lucky to fall pregnant first time, which of course you can't count on so need to leave a bit of wiggle room and age is not on my side.

My heart says to just completely check out of the company now - they've really screwed us over as a family so why should I care about them? Just work to rule until I go on leave, then go part time and work to rule when I return until I feel ready to apply to move somewhere new. My head says: the job is otherwise good, working to rule would mainly punish my boss and my team, who are in no way to blame for this, I should play the long game as this will be my last mat leave so I won't be affected by the policy after this. Yet another part of me thinks I should fight for an improvement for the next couple of months - speak to anyone I can on the Board and make it clear I'm unhappy, in the hope this will spur them to approve the new policy in time for it to benefit me? But I'm not very senior in the corporate hierarchy (have only spoken to one person on the Board previously) and worried that this could go wrong for me and I'll be frozen out before I'm ready to leave, which would create a bad atmosphere and cause stress around my mat leave, which would be horrible.

Don't really know where to go from here :-( Please nobody respond telling me I'm lucky to get mat leave at all, lucky to have a job at all, etc. that's all the bare minimum we should be expecting - I'm a highly skilled professional and know my worth to the company (as does my boss and his boss). Just looking for a fair package for women in 2024 from a large, successful company, but apparently that's still too much to ask for...

Can I ask what the policy is? In what way is it unreasonable? Given that you have been at the company 18 months, did you have time to save any money to top up your income? I work in HR and to be honest, lots of very profitable private sector companies offer the absolute mat pay minimum and will continue to do so as they can get away with it. There is little anyone can do to influence a Board who is thinking about profit, against HR who are thinking about things like the value of staff engagement and retention. I'm sorry you have found yourself in this position

How bad is your deal? What would you like it to be?

A woman I worked with recently was unhappy that she wouldn't be getting twelve months on full pay.

I would ask if they would pay you the enhanced mat pay as though you had been there for two years, given that you were given every reason to believe that the new policy would be in place by now.

If you otherwise like the company and aren’t planning other children, then I wouldn’t mentally check out as you will want to come back to the job and want to leave a good impression before you go on leave. Have they got good annual leave as you can ask for that to be carried over/paid out? Can you do kit days? i guess you will need to save and plan for the leave as best you can.

I would also try and negotiate enhanced pay, especially if you're planning to go back. The only other thing that's been effective where I've worked is benchmarking to competitors and the argument that staff will not leave if the packages aren't matched.

It all depends on what the policy is.
stat pay only?
or is it 50% pay for x months etc

You haven't been screwed over op, you did have the information but weighed up the fact that you wanted the job against the bad maternity policy. What is the policy BTW, and is there scope for negotiation.

It's 8 weeks full pay then statutory. Industry standard for us is at least 16 weeks full pay, lots of places now offering 26 weeks full pay.

I'm sure there are lots of places with worse policies/no enhanced pay but that is very much not industry norm for us and I wouldn't have gone for any such job as the breadwinner - just not feasible.

Try to gather as much research as you can about other similar companies and put forward a case for a better terms for you. Just because the policy is less doesn’t mean they can’t go above and beyond in one specific case.

Don’t work to rule too much tho just yet because you never know what’s going to happen. And you also need to get your boss and their boss to argue your case for you and that becomes impossible if you’re checked out.

Even though you’re the breadwinner does your partner get parental leave so you can share?

To those saying negotiate - that sounds like a good idea, thank you. Any idea who I would negotiate this with? and what is my bargaining position? that I will leave if I don't get it? Not sure I'd want to commit to that with nothing to go to afterwards (I'm happy to move shortly after returning but know from last time that interviewing while on mat leave is very stressful and I'm unlikely to give my best self at that point.

Yes sharing the leave seems a good plan. Your lower pay during ML is a small part of the overall job - you could be cutting off your nose to spite your face by leaving/checking out

also, would they really be able to go above and beyond for one person or could they be sued by others for unfair treatment?

what a difficult situation, I’m really sorry you’re in it.

i think there are three separate things going on that you need to think about individually:

1. your personal situation with the new baby. Do you have enough money? How much time can you take off? What other practical steps can you take to feel secure? Try to separate this from the actions of the company, and the rights or wrongs of what they’re doing or what other people get etc. (I am speaking from experience here!) Once you feel secure in your circumstances you will find it easier to act
2. returning to work - you left your last job because you were sidelined while on mat leave. It sounds like you will return to this one with the intention of staying for a while. What do you need to do to strengthen the relationships that will make your return easier? Are there hybrid/ flexible working arrangements? Are there particular clients or projects you want to keep strong ties with? mat leave is a very short time over the course of your career and having a good (relationship with your) employer whilst you are navigating the pre school and school years is very important.
3. company policy - in your shoes I would campaign hard for the policy to change via the women’s network, explaining that it makes you feel devalued and unproductive the way things currently stand. Don’t hold out any hope for you to benefit directly from this, but make the business case calmly and dispassionately. If their policy on this improves then other polices to support women are more likely to pass, too. And you may well benefit from them in the future.

in short, try not to focus on how unfair it is (which it is) and how other people put you in an invidious position (they did), and focus on the things currently on your control

@15storeys we saved last time, but it was much easier as we had a lower mortgage on a 2 bed flat in a dodgy area and no childcare fees. This time we've done what we can but now have a higher mortgage on a 3 bed house in a more family-friendly area and also full time childcare fees. Definitely nowhere near enough to cover the shortfall.

I think you've had some good advice here but you could also try Pregnant Then Screwed who may have some ideas. They have a helpline. https://pregnantthenscrewed.com/advice-services/

I have met the woman who founded this and based on that I would expect the advice to go beyond your legal rights, which i can see you're clear on.

Unfortunately you should have waited until the qualifying time before TTC (okay too late now) if the money was that important.
Where I work there is excellent maternity, sickness and parental leave policy but general pay and conditions are crap. There is one woman who got a promotion while pregnant with first returned went on sick leave then had a second (I don't think she has actually done any of her new job)

YABU as control of this situation was entirely in your hands.

You weren’t lied to, or mislead. You just decided to ttc before the new policy was put into place. That is on you, and you alone.

Your chances of getting pregnant don’t increase every month you try. So saying you started trying as time wasn’t on your side is just nonsensical.

I agree with PP and try to negotiate. I had a good enhanced leave when starting my current role (the main reason for applying) but they were looking to increase from 26 weeks full pay to 38 during my maternity leave so I just negotiated that I got the same.

Can you speak to HR to see if they can support collating stats to show how many employees this affects, how many aren’t returning from mat leave etc to push the discussion higher up the agenda. We had a poor policy but my colleague worked to get this improved more quickly by showing the value in them addressing this and pulling together data. Arguably this shouldn’t be your job to do but it could assist.

@ChinaVase appreciate your very level-headed response. Yes, DH and I are working away in the background now to work out what we can afford/how we can make things work. I only found out on Friday that the Board had failed to approve the new policy so we haven't had much time to think things through.

Unfortunately I am very disillusioned with the influence of the Women's Network as they have been campaigning for this change since 2019 and still no change. However, I will remain involved so I'm at least updated about any new/better policies.

The most obvious answer is that your husband shares the leave and you go back to work earlier. I cannot comprehend why you would deliberately try to sabotage your career and references because a separate recruitment company were arseholes. You could have waited another six months to start trying, they haven't screwed you over. Just ask now for them to match the two year enhanced version and see what they say.

@SaltySallyAnne well done on negotiating that. Who did you negotiate with? and how did you get that conversation started?

They are not in the wrong here, you've jumped the gun, took the job, got pregnant, all whilst knowing the mat pay was shit. If industry standard is 16 weeks full pay, and you're getting 8 weeks full pay, is it really worth the headache? If you want this job in the long run I wouldn't go rocking the boat for 8 weeks pay.

@SprigatitoYouAndIKnow it's not just the recruitment company though - it's the company I work for. They clearly don't value female employees at all and it just makes me wonder why I bother going above and beyond for a male board who don't care about me.

HR director for the country I’m based in for the majority of my time.

It’s better to be level headed about this, your choices have led to this issue. You can try and control what happens next but your financial short fall on maternity leave is your own doing at the end of the day.