Found out we are nearly broke -

[Pollss]

I thought we were doing well but DH told me we are almost broke.

We are mid 40s & 2 kids in primary school.

Joint gross income is £68k.

We have £190k outstanding on the mortgage on a house worth £525k

We have about £15k in savings and DH has £10 company shares. The children have about £5k each in their ISAs.

i thought we were in a much better financial position. DH has always been a saver whilst I have been a spender. He handed me 6 months' credit card statements and there were just 100s of pointless transactions: coffee, pret, McDonald's, cinema trips costing £50 a piece.

DH doesn't talk to me about our finances because it usually ends in bickering. I was hoping to move to a larger house as our current one is too small but £525k gets you nothing in London.

what can i do to improve our finance situation

You are not broke when you havex
about £15k in savings and DH has £10 company shares. The children have about £5k each in their ISAs.

Give yourself 'pocket money' and use that for the little spends like 'pret', lattes etc. Using cash focuses the mind.

Budget for and plan treats like cinema visits or meals out. Go less frequently and it'll be more of a treat.

Is there a prize for making a pointless post that answers it's own question? (hint - "pointless" is the key here)

But how can you not know how much you've saved? How much have you personally saved?

The first thing you need to do is increase your knowledge of your finances from "I thought". Especially if you are the "spender".

You should know exactly what your incomings and outgoing are. It is simple elementary arithmetic, if you don't know it you can't manage it.

And what are you bringing to the table? Are you equal earners, in which case neither of you are particularly high earning. I actually think your joint wage is quite low for London. And I say this as someone who earns half what you earn, hence I don’t live in London.

Move from London. Increase your earnings. Stop spending money on crap. Problem solved.

You aren’t even close to being broke. I suspect you wouldn’t know what broke was if it slapped you in the face.

£68k joint gross income is a good income. But it's not huge - not for London and not if you want a house that costs over half a million.

You need to be realistic about what you have and how that tallies with what you want. That means not assuming you are rich enough to be 'a spender' without knowing and sticking to a budget. That means regular open conversations with your husband about your financial position and goals - without bickering.

There are 2 aspects to financial health. You've listed one - assests and liabilities. But the more important one day to day is income and outgoings. If you don't have a grip on that your assets will shrink and your liabilities will grow.

Sit down with your husband and those credit cards statements, and your bank statements. Make lists: income, fixed outgoings, variable outgoings, discretionary spending, regular payments into pensions and savings.

Then make a plan. Where do you want to be be? How far away are you? What outgoings can be cut or reduced? Can income and saving rates be increased? Do you have enough pension? What big spends are coming up in future (bigger house, replacing car, house maintenance etc)?

Once you have a plan, stick to it and review it regularly.

Hi OP,
may I recommend Ramit Sethi. He has a podcast (Money for Couples) & a few books witha specific couple one coming out in January.

I am broke OP youll be fine 😂

I put my day to day spending on my credit card because I get cash back for it. I don’t spend money I don’t have though and credit card is paid off in full each month. It’s not that unusual surely?

I get cash back for it. I don’t spend money I don’t have though and credit card is paid off in full each month. It’s not that unusual surely?

No, we do that as well. Every few months we get sent John Lewis vouchers and I stock up on coffee/chicken kievs!

Would buying a Pret subscription help?

Your post is so ignorant and insensitive for anyone reading this who actually broke. You clearly are not !

£68k joint gross income is a good income. But it's not huge - not for London and not if you want a house that costs over half a million.

its not even average, let alone good income and especially not in London

whats the point of the pile on with everyone saying the same thing over and again, even after op states she can't get the heading changed? and has apologised for the wording

Have you considered onlyfans?

Imagine how your husband feels given he is a saver!

Without proactively saving and avoiding discussing spending, you're doing extremely well.

Why would you expect to have more?

Make a budget together and cut back if you want to save faster but you are nowhere near broke.

Pack it in and behave op.
What a piss take of a thread.

Absolutely ridiculous post. Claiming to be almost broke with thousands and thousands of pounds in savings. Meanwhile people ARE broke and are relying on food banks.

When i was broke I was going without food so that my child could eat, I had bare legs in the winter because I could not afford tights and padded out my one pair of leaking boots as I could not afford to replace them. Being cold and hungry are things that I hope you are not experiencing You have so much flexibility and opportunities to tighten up and control your spending. You are not in danget of losing your home, I am presuming you can afford decent food and to have the heating on, run a vehicle, clothe your children and yourselves.

Because her DH doesn't talk to her about it, so she's carried on blissfully spending, assuming everything is OK because he hasn't said otherwise until now.

OK, OP. I'm going to try and cut through all the other posts repeating the same old thing about you not being "nearly broke". You get that now, I know that.

It is insensitive to those that really are struggling, but this has obviously been a shock to you all the same. So, chin up, admit your mistake and then we can get on to the advice that will actually help.

Ultimately you need to have a straightforward, sensible, calm, conversation with your DH. If he says you always end up bickering, promise him you won't and stick to it. If you feel the need to bite back, hold your tongue and tell him he has to do the same.

Or, take him out of the equation completely and just ask him for the bank statements and credit card statements to do your own summary.

Split the spending between necessities and frivolities. See how much money you should have leftover after just the necessities. Consider how much you'd like to set aside each month for savings, future house deposit or rainy day money, then whatever is left over is your coffee and McDonald's money.

Other things to consider then are:

• do you have the ability to increase your income? You mention you're in London, so a joint £68k income isn't big by London standards.
• or, are you able to move out of London? Many years ago I had a one bedroom flat in London, that I sold for a 3 bedroomed house further out for not a huge amount more. It gave me a commute, but I didn't work in central London, so I went somewhere within driving distance.

It really boils down to two keys things, or a combination of the two:

1. Earn more
2. Spend less

I would think that DH and are well off. We are in our sixties, own our own home and an investment property and have good pensions and savings. And a lot of that is because we have never frittered our money away on 100s of pointless transactions every month.

45 years ago we were young and hard up. We bought second hand clothes for us and DC, used toy banks, went on £10 Sun trip caravan holidays and worked two jobs when we had to. We budgeted for treats and days out and when that money was gone we went without. Honestly in hindsight, those were the happiest days of my life.

Your choice - continue frittering or accumulate a nest egg.

WOW! Talk about being out of touch.
FFS 😒

You're not nearly broke.

I have no petrol in my car, single parent and I could list exactly what is in my fridge and larder and can tell you it's not quite enough to last until I get paid.

I have no savings or investments, owe money to the gas and electricity suppliers, have literally no way of getting out of my overdraft and can't imagine making 2 payments a month on myself or on anything nice, let alone hundreds.

I haven't even had my haircut since March.

Stop behaving like an idiot.

When I was “nearly” broke I had to get every jacket and bag and trousers I owned and check pockets for coins I found £20 something and I cried with joy x
with respect you’re in a good position many could dream off x

And in comparison I feel genuinely positively wealthy as, while not rich in a financial sense, we manage a comfortable existence on a much lower household income. It's a huge improvement on the times I couldn't afford food or sanitary pads! It's all about perspective...Very tone deaf OP.