Is this too good to be true?

[WinterisComing95]

I’ve had a bad dating history - abusive people, people who I thought was lovely and ended up being the total opposite - so I find it quite hard to trust my own judgement sometimes.

I started talking to someone new, another woman as I identify as a lesbian, about 3 months ago and have obviously spent time with them in person now too and it just seems too good to be true - she’s absolutely perfect.

She is consistent, reliable, has never switched up her moods with me or anything. She is very understanding, agreeable and we have so much in common. She accepts me exactly the way I am, which is a big thing for me because previous partners have always tried to ‘tone me down’ or make me change. She compliments me just the right amount, actually wants to make plans and spend time with me and is just such a wonderful human being - so far.

Can someone genuinely be this nice and something genuinely go this smoothly? Or is the other shoe going to drop at any moment sort of thing?

I suppose because you have been hurt in the past you can't believe your luck this time. There are genuinely lovely people out there and it sounds like you've found one! Good luck.

If the new person was a man he’d be accused by this lot of love bombimg

Only time will tell.

What a load of old bollocks.

OP it's early days. Can you identify what red flags you missed in other relationships?

it's very early days. Some people are genuinely this nice but some will put on a fake persona. Only time will tell

Who knows! It's early days, enjoy it! If she's still this lovely in 18 months time, then you've lucked out and she's the real deal 👍 (and maybe she's wondering the same about you!)

It’s really not. You’d be one of the ones calling it out.

No I wouldn't. Read the description of the actions. Not a flag in there.

Maybe have an opinion of your own, rather than slagging off other people's.

On another thread you’ve just said women dragging other women down are likely to be men.

#Stalker

So my last partner for example - inconsistent (said she would do something and then never did), small little lies all the time about silly things (which then turned out to be huge lies in the end), was very avoidant (if something went wrong in her life, she wouldn’t talk to me for days), we had already argued at this point about the issues above, that love bombing stuff (oh I’ve never felt this way about anyone sort of thing), being really critical of all her exes and always playing the victim in every single situation…

She sounds lovely- as do you! I’d only advise you to take it slowly. Time will tell what kind of person she is. By the same token she isn’t perfect (no one is!), so you will have arguments and off days, which isn’t necessarily a red flag. Could you book a weekend away to spend some extended time together? Enjoy her company and don’t move in together too soon.

But are you actually a lesbian, or do you merely identify as one?

Ah yes that’s the question.
Real or just identifying?

It’s a barren old place that time of night, you notice your fellow night owls

No one is perfect.

And whats all this “I identify as” nonsense…?

Slightly off-topic, I'd be really interested to hear from 'experienced' lesbian/bi people around what gender is actually easier to live with. Obviously MN is going to be skewed (massively). We hear regularly how bad men are on here, and men would be shouted down as being misogynistic if they offered their opinions on relationships with women.