To ask why men feel the need to comment on women’s fertility unprovoked?

[ForFlakySloth]

Over the weekend, a guy I know told me that he thinks 40 is a “good age” for women to have kids. According to him, by then, women will have “played around for a bit” - and yes, he actually meant sexually - referring to experiences with monogamous relationships, polyamory, and even married men.

Now, here’s the kicker: this same man is married (though separated, but still living in the same house) and has tried to pursue me sexually. On top of that, he has a 22-year-old daughter who is a single mum to a 1-year-old, with the father not involved. He’s made comments about how she “shouldn’t have opened her legs for anyone” and that she “loves men too much.”

I was honestly baffled by the level of hypocrisy and unsolicited opinions. Why do some men feel entitled to give their take on women’s fertility choices, especially when their own lives are far from perfect?

WTF?

He sounds gross

He sounds awful but sticking in an unwanted oar when it comes to fertility and having kids is hardly just a male thing.

Don’t tar all men with his particular wanky brush, some of them are quite civilised..

Ew what, why do you have anything to do with this disgusting pig.

I think your thread title is unfair and misleading. Men don't, a man you know has.

I've never heard anyone male or female have that kind of conversation.

As a pp said, YABVU. It's just the man YOU know.

I don't know one single man who has ever made comments like about women.

I have heard women say shit like this about other women though.

.

I have never had a man question me about my fertility choices, or make comments. I cannot say the same about plenty of women though.

I've never had a man comment on mine or anyone I know. It's usually other women tbh. Every second thread here lately is about shit all men are 😒

You've met a twat.

The world is full of them and always has been.

He sounds awful but I'm not following why you think what he said is hypocritical and it's not really about fertility is it? Fertility refers to a person's biological ability to have children,not if they are 'ready'.

Well, now you know him better and can run for the hills.
I think he speaking out is a good thing. If he kept quier, you may have never known the truth and thought he was nice and all.
So, because of that I vote YABU.
But the real unreasonable is to keep talking to this idiot

He sounds awful, but I’ve worked alongside blokes i thought were really crap like this and found they can sometimes be really helpful and go above and beyond. So now when I’m around someone like this I mentally roll my eyes but give them the benefit of the doubt

Women make unwanted comments about fertility/when are you having children too.

The fact this guy is a massive creep is a separate issue

This man is a prize dickhead. I think the real question is why on earth are you conversing with him? He sounds horrendous.

Its projection

Indeed

Wtf

I wouldn’t generalise based on the ill informed comments of one thicko dick head. I wouldn’t even stick around long enough to listen to him.

It’s draining… YANBU—it's honestly wild how some men feel entitled to comment on women's bodies, sex lives, and fertility like they're giving helpful TED talks, when really it's just judgement wrapped in projection.
This guy sounds like a walking contradiction: slut-shaming his daughter while chasing you, all while dishing out unsolicited “wisdom” about when women should have babies. It’s not about concern—it’s control, ego, and deflecting from their own mess. The hypocrisy would be funny if it weren’t so tired.

Well he just sounds like a misogynistic creep in general. And like he's testing the waters with you by trying to draw you into sex-related conversations and seeing how you react.

Maybe point out the obvious truth that getting pregnant very young and outside a stable relationship is something that's almost exclusively done by girls with crappy or absent fathers.

Sounds like an absolute deviant

And he's just straight up wrong biologically 40 is far from the ideal age to have kids

Exactly this. I don't know any man to ever comment or care about this! Or any woman either.