playdates and I dont like my kids' friends

[njlmw]

This is only half serious. Waiting to pick up Ds with their friend to take them back to ours for a playdate. They are both in yr2 and honestly, I just cant face it. I know it will either be them destroying my entire house with their crazy energy or, which I sometimes think is even worse, the other child will just be silly, talk in baby voices and go on about poo all the time. It's just so annoying. Half the time, even Ds thinks they are really annoying. I know playdates are important and I always encourage Ds to invite his friends over. But why oh why are they so irritating as well. Ds does have one or two friends who seem great, are into things, can have a chat with, but why are the majority ;-) As I said, it's only half serious but sometimes give me strength......

Pick them up, take them to soft play and get them food there. You sit and read a book with a coffee - your house stays intact and you don't have to har any of the poo jokes

It isn't the law to have playdates! They are such a bad idea on weekdays when children are over-tired after school, I don't understand who thinks they are a good idea. Go to the park for an hour on the way home with friends by all means but having little Johnny round to get all the toys out and declare that our dinner is "discustin", no thanks.

What does 'destroying your house with their crazy energy' mean?

Do you mean destroying your peace and quiet or your actual home?

Take them to the playground, park, the pools (ask parents first) or softplay.
My home is not destroyed by year 2 children. EOD.

It's OK to set rules for your own home.

"We don't use toilet words in our home. It's not appropriate. Please don't bring up poo again."

"We need to be careful when we're playing in this room. If you can't be gentle with those toys I will have to take them away."

"Oh, you want to play with the lego now? First, you need to tidy up the cars. We only have one toy out at a time."

Having a playdate doesn't mean just letting them run riot.

YABU for agreeing to host a playdate, just say no next time.

Your house your rules.
It means not only do you get them to behave better but they might not like your rules and refuse to come - win/win

I'm with you, OP.

Yea I get what you mean, you want to do it for you DC but I hate it too. I try to take them out somewhere to tire them out so when they come back to ours they chill out with screens of some kind

No play dates here... <shudders at thought>
. Any amount of secondary school dc welcome...
They don't need a referee...

People only like their own kids, even then it's only because of biology (and even then they don't like them 100% of the time).

Kids are highly irritating.

Playdates seem super popular around here so I don't want Ds to feel left out. After school ones means it's only an hour and half rather than the three hours on a Sunday 😉. It's the jumping on sofa, throwing of cushions and stuff that gets to me.

They probably aren't allowed jump on the sofa and throw cushions around in their own homes but you allow it 😂

You need to tell them not to.

I don't let them! I tell them everyone has different house rules, but we don't jump on the furniture or keep our shoes on in ours, plus they have to eat / drink at the table.

I'm totally done with playdates.
I tried really hard to open our home up to my DC's friends.
Big mistake.
I've had so many things in my home broken. And expensive toys broken, often on purpose. I've had to deal with other kids bad behaviour. Their meltdowns. Terrible table manners. I've had rooms in my house absolutely trashed to pieces by the most angelic looking children of middle class professionals. I've had ornaments smashed. Soft furnishings damaged. I've had to deal with ridiculously fussy eaters. I've had rudeness thrown at me. These are all different children, different friends of all 3 of my DC. Then I've had years of making polite chit chat to their parents who collect them on their way home from work, whilst I'm standing there stressed by their child and all I want to say is "Your child's behaviour is appalling. Surely you must know this?!?"
I stopped playdates last year.
Enough was enough.
It's been bliss ever since.

So you tell your child no more playdates until their behaviour improves.

You don't need to put up with shit just because they've invited a friend over.

You know all those annoying habits? Your ds does them at their house!

I think it's having to hover and check on them all the time. It's tiring and annoying.

I can’t quite believe how insanely rude and poorly behaved DS friends are (Y3). Every time DS goes to someone’s house the parents are full of praise for how lovely he is and what nice manners he has so I’m confident he’s not behaving the same way his friends do but fuck me it’s unreal. They don’t give a shit either if you tell them not to do x y z. I did tell one hellion’s mum that he wouldn’t be invited back because his behaviour had been so awful and she just mumbled an apology and avoids me at the gates now