To quit my job after mat leave

[cheesemom]

Long time lurker, have slightly obfuscated some details. Keen to hear what people think, thank you!

I have an 18 month old and have been back at work for 6 months. I’m a construction apprentice due to qualify next year but I won’t receive the qualified employee wage until April 2026 at the earliest.

I miss my baby! I find the work hard! I don’t want to be doing it every day! I have asked if I can reduce my working hours to 3 days and the answer is no. 4 won’t make a difference. Despite these complaints I do love the trade and am good at it and I do want to qualify and potentially pursue a career in it but maybe not. I am so close to quitting but worry that I’ll regret it. I can do the qualification I’m working towards off my own back one day a week, it costs between £1500 and £6k depending on the college.

Realistically I would only stay in this industry for 15ish years because I don’t want to ruin my body as I get older so I would want a more sedentary job in the future.

I could just about afford to quit as I have a supportive spouse whose income covers our costs and my own side hustle that brings in c.£10k pa.

Longer term I do want a job obviously but right now I just want quality time with baby and the chance to tidy my house and go to the dentist and get the car serviced. I have qualifications and a decade of experience in another industry and could get an office job easily enough altho I do hate desk work and find it challenging (possibly have ADHD).

DB (darling baby) loves nursery so I think they would still want to go a couple of days a week.

Is it ok to just quit?

yabu - you will regret quitting
yanbu - go for it

Why can't you try 4 days and then see if you still want to quit, then do?

YABU for darling baby alone

In my experience, 4 days makes a huge difference, especially if you can take Wednesdays off. I used to cherish my Wednesdays. I’d love to have them again, but can’t justify it with school aged children.

Ideally you'd go down to one or two days for a few years but as that isn't possible...Life is short. Quit. As long as your husband can support your pension and you can return to your career, in your shoes I would quit. You're not that passionate about the apprenticeship, it's a long way off fruition and you have other options.

This. I always did 4 days when my kids were younger

So you can go to 4 days?

Seriously, do that. It's a good compromise. You'll spend more time with baby and will complete your apprenticeship which I am sure you have worked really hard on.

You are so close to finishing it just do it.

This comment is silly. Putting D before baby, mother, husband etc is just basic mumsnet. She was just clarifying DB meant baby (rather than brother or something)

I'd go for 4 days, that way you will still get to spend time with the baby as well as complete your apprenticeship

Agree with PPs - don’t just assume 4 days won’t work for you. I worked 4 days a week for the first few years and it really was great. Felt like I was about 50/50 work and not work especially taking into account I was with my DCs every evening too.

I wouldn't quit before you have your qualification. Perhaps you could work 4 days instead until then and afterwards see how you feel about staying home.

Are you married?

Don’t quit before you qualify and try four days. Its tough with a small baby to be away from them but it gets easier. You leave yourself incredibly vulnerable being dependent on someone else for money. At the very least get your qualifications.

do four days, get the qualification, then quit.

or get a desk job first then quit, and accept you’ll never go back to your other job and complete the qualification ( seems a shame

if you’ll be just about managing on dh salary you can’t afford to self fund the rest of your qualification and if you tell a new employer “I quit my apprenticeship cos of childcare” regardless of the law, I doubt anyone would hire you into a similar job again

Is it ok to just quit?

That completely depends on your spouse! If they aren’t happy about being the sole-earner, then no!

I’m presuming ‘spouse’ means you are actually married?

You'd be crazy to do this without being married, at the very very least.

And finish the qualification before doing anything. It’s a million times easier to finish it while you’re already in the thick of it as opposed to dropping out and trying to pick it back up again. There will always be a reason not to go back- Baby 2, starting school, spouse’s work schedule, childcare etc etc. Just do it now.

Now, I am probably going to go against what most other people say but I did exactly what you are wanting to do. I quit my job/career to be a SAHM when my DD was a baby because I just woke up one day and realised that my whole priorities had changed. My career was no longer that important and being with my DD was. I was so miserable being away from her. I was very lucky in that my DH earned very good money and it was possible for me to stay home. So I talked it through with him and told him how I felt and luckily for me he was incredibly supportive and was happy for me to stay home so I went into work and gave my notice in. To be honest it was the best decision I made. I absolutely loved and thirved being a SAHM. I made lots of other mum friends because I attended mum and baby groups and I was sociable. I actually enjoyed being home and taking care of the house and cooking dinner and I loved being with my DD every day and having all that amazing quality time with her. Now I fully realise that my way of life and my choice would not be for everyone but it was perfect for ME.

I had a second child and again, stayed home and did the same with her, other than adding the school run in for my eldest DD.

When both my DD were at school full time I had no problems finding a part time job that fit around school hours and then had the best of both worlds. I was there to drop my children to school and had finished work in time to collect them both and be there for them after school.

I have never, not once, regretted my choice to do this and I look back at those days with fondness and I am so glad I made that decision to be home and mum.

I think, if your husband (I assume he is your husband) is fully 100% happy for you to do this then I would seriously think about it but maybe study for your qualification in your own time so you have something to go back too once your children are older and school age.

Our babies are only 'babies' for such a small amount of time and they grow up so quickly so for me, I wanted to savour every moment of that time and not miss a thing about them growing up.

Again, I know this way of life and thinking isn't for everyone and I realise not everyone has the choices I did available to them. But I think you need to do what you need to do for you, and make the decision that will make you happy.

Thank you for your helpful replies! I’ve wanted to post about this for ages.

Yes, I’m married and we already pool most of our money in a joint account.

i have used annual leave to work several consecutive 4 day weeks and it hasn’t really felt like enough. Having said that, today I had an interesting and busy day at work and things don’t feel so bad. I know it won’t always be like this and I will not feel as positive when I spend hours in the cold and the dirt, or worse, waiting for a task to do!

Currently thinking I will hand in my notice at the end of November so that when nursery shuts for Christmas I will be retired and able to do the childcare. I might change my mind 100 times before then though!

Retired-doesn’t that suggest maybe a pension😂.

I would try and finish the qualification if you can.