TW!! To worry how I’ll cope when I lose loved ones?

[SimpleCircle]

Sorry, don’t think I’ve done the trigger warning right!

I had a situation where I nearly lost a close family member very suddenly. Ever since that happened, I’m getting myself into a total state, thinking how I’ll cope when my family members die.

I know this can be a sign of depression and will see the GP, but I genuinely don’t know how I’ll function. I’ve had some real low points in life, and that was without suffering a bereavement. I’m scared of how low it’ll go when I have to deal with something like that.

Im also afraid of dying. I know no one can really help with any of this. It’s just hard being alone with these feelings. 😢

Counselling can be really helpful to find a way to live with the existential mortality awareness that life has given you. There are threads like yours every few months on here. You are most definitely not alone.

I have has 2 major bereavements in my life. My Dad in my 30s and my sibling in my mid 50s.
Both were pretty much out of the blue.
Losing my Dad was like losing a limb. There was life before and life after. If I could go back, I'd have done a much better job at looking after my own mental health.
What I learned from it is this. It's really not the stuff that you lay awake at night worrying about that gets you! It's things that you really don't see coming. And you do cope and you do manage. It's hard and rotten but Literally life goes on.

I think most people worry about this, it doesn't mean you're depressed.

What usually happens is the fear is worse than the reality and you do cope.

What you are doing is a coping mechanism I've done it for years because I have lost a lot of my family most to cancer . I just start imagining how I will cope if I lose such and such a person and in a few minutes I'm balling crying usually when I'm on my own or driving. I have a friend that's the same and went to counselling and they explained it's a coping mechanism and that they need to change their thought process . I've never gone to counselling as honestly I've lost so many people I live I don't want to pick those particular scabs but in your case it would probably be very beneficial. (I'm sure it would be for me as well but not going to happen right now)

I can only speak for myself with hindsight. When I look back at bereavements in the family, or life-changing or traumatic events, the one thing that stands out is that I wish I had been better organised in my own life so that I could sit with my feelings.

If I’m alone in the car in the autumn or winter and the sun is shining in a beautiful clear sky like it is today, I tear up because it takes me back to driving back and forth to my mum in her final weeks at this time of year.

I now do practical things in the hope of not burdening those who will deal with my death. Making sure everything is in order in the house and with the lawyer. Talking over my wishes for when the inevitable happens. Never be afraid to ask for help.

Erm, this really isn't a sign of depression, but definitely do seek support from your GP if you're struggling with your mental health.
I'm sorry to hear you've been through nearly losing a loved one: it sounds like this has come as a massive shock and you've since been reflecting - or ruminating - upon what life might be like without family members?
I've lost so many people throughout my life - family, friends and acquaintances - I'm not numb to death, but I'm used to it.
I'm a recovering alcoholic and lived in a rehab town for several years, so have lost far too many dear friends to alcoholism and addiction. It never gets easier and those deaths hit me harder than those of my parents.
But, I've never fallen apart nor has life significantly altered just because people I love have died. I guess I've never been reliant upon anyone since my teens, so never really had to think about how I'd cope with absence via death of anyone.