Where to celebrate sons birthday/baptism

[OpenGuide]

I need some advice - am I being unreasonable?

Me and my ex are planning our sons first birthday & christening (2in1 party).

We live about 1-2 hours apart now, however the church where the baptism will be held will be in my area as its where our son lives with me and the church allows 4 godparents.

My ex insists that we do the after party mid-way in West/Central London so that his extended family dont have to travel. I originally agreed, but actually its not convenient as the venues are extortionate and there will be no time for anyone to set up the venue. Plus all the driving around halfway through the day with a one year old - its a big enough day for him as it is.

I found a venue next to the Church. Its within budget, next to a station, has parking, will do our catering and will allow us to set up the night before.

He is now accusing me of being selfish because I insist to do the afterparty here. I said Im not going to put myself in debt or stress to cater to his family just so they dont have to travel an hour or 2. Its one day in the year.

So he has got an attitude with me, telling me he will then cancel the DJ and photo booth he organised and will only invite his immediate family because of me and the rest he just won't invite.

Am I being unreasonable?

Im trying to be practical and financially responsible.

Doing away from the church sounds crazy. The drive will be crappy with a one year old (who is supposed to be at the heat of this), as well as everyone else.

If he cancels the DJ and photo booth... no biggie. It's a first birthday and baptism not a wedding, all you really need are some cake and the people you love.

This is showing you why you split up.

A 1 year old will not give a tiny shit about a dj or a photo booth. Have your party where you prefer and tell him to do his own if he is that bothered.

If have it near the church to ensure he cancels frh DJ and photo booth.

WTF! It's a christening party. Cup of tea and a piece of cake. And everyone goes home at an hour or two.

If you have to drive for an hour, by the time you get there dc will be sound asleep or screaming. That means ex will be pissed off at you for “your poor parenting” in front of his family.

And wtf re a dj etc? Fuck. No.

stick with “this is best for dc”.

I think 90% of your responses are going to be YANBU but why on earth is anyone having a photo booth an DJ for a first birthday?! Sounds like a party for adults rather than a focus on a baby. Christening followed by traditional beige food in a village hall with a birthday cake sounds plenty!

This. Just have some cake in your house afterwards. He’s a baby.

Yanbu at all and no Christening/1yo birthday party needs a DJ or a Photobooth so his stroppiness is not a problem. Stick with the venue next to the church.

I think your way sounds more sensible. Some people travelled 4/5h to our DCs christening because we had it where we lived, if they want to be there they'll travel.