To want a job that's just the advertised hours?

[ARichtGoodDram]

I'm being made to feel so unreasonable by a cafe manager over this.

I have a DD with a life limiting illness. I had to give up my job in schools when her care needs became apparent. I miss working.

My MIL, who lives with us, has taken partial retirement and very kindly offered to set aside one day a week where she's on standby to mind DD if she has to miss school, which isn't constant, but is regular, to allow me the chance to pick up some work.

It's not a money thing, I'm very lucky in that. It's just a company thing, and an achievement thing. I used to do a lot of voluntary stuff, but that never works as there's always more needing done.

So, I applied for a job in a cafe that was advertised as 10-2 every Wednesday. I stated in my cover letter that I wouldn't be looking for overtime or extra days and that I can't be flexible. Other jobs I applied for declined me on that basis, which is fine, but the cafe manager was adamant that's all she needed.

Week one - was fine.
Week two - was fine, but there was some hints that they were looking for someone to help out on the Friday.
Week three - was asked outright if I could help out Thursday and Friday. Manager didn't seem too pleased when I said no.
Week four - was asked to stay until 6pm. I said I could stay until 3, but no later.
Week 5 - was asked to also work Thursday and Saturday. Manager actually sighed out loud when I said no.
Week 6 - was told, not asked, that I had to stay until 3. Was also asked to work Saturday. Said no.

Today I've received a text telling - not asking - that I've been swapped to Thursday and that I need to show some team spirit (which amusingly corrected to "teen spirit") and help out.

So I've handed in my notice and the cafe manager has sent a big rant about people's lack of work ethic and team spirit. I replied pointing out that I told her in my application and at both interviews that I can only work the hours I applied for. I've basically been told to fuck off and not come in this week.

I get that in some jobs you have to work extra hours - in schools and care homes in the past I've worked many hours over my contracted ones as that's part of the job. But I can't do that now, hence looking for a job with set hours and being super bloody clear.

I'm so disappointed. It was so nice to get out of the house for a bit and not be "mum" or "carer".

So sorry and of course not unreasonable. Unfortunately there are bad managers everywhere and it boggles the mind, glad you are out of there as you don't need that. Maybe paid work isn't right especially if it's not needed, a club or hobby group?

This may have just been an unfortunate experience. I worked in healthcare and every time I start a new post, I get daily phonecalls to come and cover xyz. The phonecalls stop after two weeks of me consistently saying no.
Having said that, half day of work a week is a rough sell for most employees. Have you considered getting something which offers more hours but working from home?

It sounds to me like they wanted bank staff and hooked you in with the day. Complete waste of everyone's time not to listen to your boundaries in interview etc. Sorry you had to go through that.

It's not unreasonable for the cafe to need someone flexible, but they are for asking this of you when they clearly stated set hours and a set day. Hopefully they've learnt from this and will be clearer with their next employee! I suspect admin jobs are actually more likely to be set at the hours they state, anywhere where coverage is always needed between x and y hours a day you're more likely to get asked.

That's very annoying. Hospitality is a nightmare industry from chopping and changing rosters. Could you look for say a reception job or similar to plug a more predictable gap?

I know what you mean about volunteering, but some larger charities now have more specialist roles that are more like admin work - like listing items for sale on eBay, managing inventory, etc. Might it be worth checking out local opportunities? I’ve seen Bernardo’s and Oxfam list these kinds of volunteering roles near me, for example. I just wonder whether this might scratch that itch for a job with more defined tasks and targets?

I don't want to work from home. The point is to get out of the house.

Thats why I've very strictly only applied for jobs that are listed as one day a week and 8-5 at the most (I couldn't stay until 6pm off the cuff when the cafe asked as MIL had made plans on the basis I'd be finished at 2).

Mostly I've applied for jobs where people are clearly looking for lunchtime cover.

Unfortunately here there's only one charity shop and they look for two set days a week or one flexible day.

Other charity roles advertised have been from home, which I don't want to do.

I could just go out for the day, but I really wanted to just have some money in my pocket that I earned in a job. I know that's a bit silly when it's not strictly needed, but I've always been used to it. While DH makes sure I have access to more than enough on top of the carers allowance it's just not the same for me.

Ah, okay. That makes a lot of sense. I’m really sorry, because this is just a tough situation. Your former employer was really unreasonable after you told them honestly upfront what your limitations are. They’re probably used to dealing with employees who really need the money and will put up with being bullied because of that. It’s such a crappy attitude towards staff; an abuse of power, maybe only on a small scale, but still really unpleasant.

And, by the way, I don’t think there’s anything silly about wanting to maintain some paid work out of the house. You’re having a tough time, and it’s all too easy to end up feeling like you’ve lost your own identity.

I hope something new, and better, turns up for you soon.

This sounds like a really rough situation OP.

Did the cafe job know why you only wanted that specific shift? Very unkind of them if so.

Have you looked into job shares?

As the parent of a highly disabled child I completely understand your frustration op, people seem to not take us seriously when we say what we can and cannot do. I've been looking for years for an appropriate role and there's very little out there that's accommodating, YANBU.