To not let my 13 yo get her upper ear cartilage pierced

[Osory]

Hi all, I have a sophisticated 13 yo . She has multiple piercings - 4 in one ear, 3 in the other . She now wants to get her helix pierced .. I spoke to her best friend s mum (who has piercings herself) and she said its recommended they wait til 16 to get the helix done
I know it's not a big deal but I don't want her rattling around with too many piercings as she s only 13 and don't want ger moving ahead of her peers too much....
She's very annoyed will I just stick to my guns? She's relentless when she wants something, we ve a house full pets as a result but am happy to tell her no, just want it too be reasonable

What are the rules at your piercing salon? If they won't do this on an under 16, there's your answer. It's not "no", it's "later"

Thanks for reply, it's not for under 16s in most salons but she s found one that will do it.

I'd ask a good, recommended professional piercer for advice and follow it. As a compromise, maybe start letting her have piercings for her birthday to moderate the pace. Then it's just a yes with a timeline.

No I wouldn't.

is she even allowed into school with piercings? our uniform policy doesn't allow even simple studs. That may be your get out card?

My worry would be infection. Healing takes ages and it’s a notoriously difficult area to treat if it does get infected as it has a poor blood supply. Totally different but my dad has some skin cancer there and has to have it cut out - the consultant is almost more concerned how it will heal and risk of infection than the actual cancer.
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Sophisticated at 13? Hmmmm

Ask her why she thinks most salons don't allow until 16, and why this one might. Stick to your guns OP

yeah @Pinkissmart, quite right!
is this a reverse?

I wouldn't agree to it and if only one piercer will do it for under 16's I'd worry they were dodgy.

That would be a worry for me. Why is this one salon different from the others? I'd be concerned they were maybe a little lax on things.

I think you're unreasonable to allow a 13 year old to have that many piercings already.

The school is non uniform so no rules about piercings.
When I say sophisticated I suppose I mean she seems older? Youngest of 3 my oldest was a big baby at 13 which was great!

What’s the rule in piercings at school? At my dds school it was 1 pair of studs.

If its just the one salon, that suggests it's not the normal, and I'd be concerned about their customer safery.

My 13 year old had their ears pierced last year and the piercer asked them 3 times, including away from me, if they were SURE they wanted it done. I had to sign a consent form. And they checked that I was happy with their decison, plus salon hygiene and process before doing anything.

How is a 13yr old 'sophisticated'?

She already has more piercings than most and more than I'd be happy with

The helix, or any cartilage piercing, can take a LONG time to heal - my own took approx a year

If every studio you've spoken to says minimum age is 16 - surely that makes you think that it's best to wait? Having found one that will do it isn't comforting, IMO
I'd bet a penny to a pound that the studio that will do it will also use a gun, not a needle

Respectfully OP, be the parent here. Your child is 13, not 18

I had mine done when I was about 14 and it never healed. Constantly lumpy and oozy, and I got fed up with it. It still feels a bit sore occasionally, and I’m 30 now!

Would be a no from me purely because of that.

Local to us salons will pierce cartilage with a needle, with parental permission. I don’t see the issue tbh. Tell her she has to take responsibility for looking after it and doing that as per the piercer’s instructions, otherwise out it comes. I used to have lots of cartilage piercings and they’ve all healed up well when I decided to remove them.

DD had hers done at 13, it was and still is a reputable piercing place where I've had numerous piercings done. She looked after it as she should have and it healed nicely.
IMO YABU.