AIBU to want a bit of respite?

[AllTheNaps]

We have 3DCs aged 6, 2 and 4 months.

I'm inclined to say I'm probably being unreasonable but I'm so unbelievably tired so probably irrational 😪

The 4 month old is in with me and is up every hour, she is breastfed which I suppose has relevance to nighttime help. During the week I'm either doing the school run with all 3 DCs or getting up to take one of them to nursery/breakfast club and DH will take the other one on his way to work.

The 4 month old naps like most 4 month olds for 20 minutes at a time. DH sleeps in our eldest room as she has had some sleep issues which suits us fine as he's probably more rested than being disturbed by the baby.

AIBU to perhaps want a small nap to catch up on a little sleep every couple of weeks so I'm not as zombie like? Or for him to get up with the kids? It seems to be a one up all up policy here. If the baby is fed I can see no reason why he can't facilitate this. Otherwise he is a fantastic husband and dad and does his fair share around the house but just cannot see why I might be absolutely f*cking exhausted and everything has to be spelt out to him.

YANBU

I'm a bit shocked you're doubting yourself with this. The only thing that's remotely unreasonable is that you put up with it!

I might be seen as not very strong I suppose, but I've only had one baby and I struggled to cope with the sleep deprivation. If my husband hadn't shared the late nights/early mornings I've no doubt I would have developed serious depression, plus the resentment that would have built up would mean we wouldn't be together now. At the weekends, one of us would get up with the baby, and then go back to bed once the other got up. Every weekend for weeks!

IRL not one of the Dads in my peer group would behave like this. They all facilitate naps, lie ins, take their kids out independently to give their partners a break etc.

Tell him you're exhausted and need a rest and then go and have one!

Honestly I think both of you would benefit from some uninterrupted sleep whether that’s a lie in or a nap. Maybe it would be worth agreeing that Saturday mornings you have lie in and he gets up with kids, Sunday mornings he has lie in and you get up. Or if naps work better than Saturday you have a nap, Sunday he has a nap!

After spelling it out to him he seems to have taken it on board.

Thanks for the responses all. One thing I will say is having 3 kids is a completely different ball game to having 1 or 2 so yes whilst switching and changing on the weekend was always feasible before as was taking one out for the day it is a bit less feasible now especially with the 4month old who has to stay with me. He's hoping to book a couple of days off work too whilst the older two are in school/nursery so I can have a break