To not be sure about getting married

[Sammygir]

Non-judgemental help pls.
getting married in a few months. Was so pleased to be engaged as love my DP and to be honest I’ve been ashamed to be an unmarried mum, as a Christian.
We have had a difficult few years as he was in a mental hospital for a long time. Of course I held the fort and cared for him and for our DS.
Now I don’t know if it’s just my period but I’m getting so scared about the rest of our lives and how it’ll look being joined to this man forever. I don’t want to have a broken home for my son to grow up in, either with single parents or with married parents who fight all the time.
DP is lazy, selfish and greedy. He is constantly on his phone (playing games etc), only thinking about what he wants to do, can’t do the simplest of tasks that I leave him to do when I go out alone with DS (because he doesn’t want to come) and I’m scared that he will never be able to change.
Is he capable of change? I have told him a lot how I feel and he always promises to try better but we end up in the same place about a week later.

He won't change. Why would he? Absolutely do not tie yourself to a lazy, selfish man for life.

Your son will be raised with separated parents because his dad was lazy and selfish.

DP is lazy, selfish and greedy

Do not marry a lazy, selfish and greedy man. He'll never change.

Please,please don't marry him.
It will only get a lot worse.
Divorce is a bigger stigma so you will accept more and more.
Please

Big, fat NO for me. 🍀

Don't marry this man. I could give you a hundred reasons why not to and none to marry him!

I'm a Christian too. Marrying someone is a big deal. If this is not someone you think you want to spend your life with, don't marry him.

Get rid of him ASAP - life is short

why do you love him?

Listen to your gut.
Your reasoning is sound
Your home is already " broken".. it will be worse if you stay
By the way, if a child is loved, secure and its needs met.. no home is broken, whatever the set up.. Single, couple, same sex couple Families come in all shapes and sizes

He will never, ever change. In fact, once you "belong" to him as his wife he will get much worse. You really don't want your son to grow up thinking this is how men behave towards women do you? You've given it a try and looked after your partner during very difficult times. If God judges anyone it will be your awful partner.

Please split up with him. You can do so much better, and deserve to. And it would be no way to bring up your DS.

A man like this got my friend pregnant and moved away so that she would have to come with him because of the "shame" AND be isolated from her family.

Shame on you if you marry this dead weight as he will be hanging round your neck for ever!!

Don't do it if you value you or your son's life. Also is he on the birth certificate as he will be a very bad influence on your innocent son.

You know what to do in your gut. Ignore it at your peril xxxxxx

Believe me, if you are dreading getting married, you shouldn't be getting married.

It'll be awkward and not terribly pleasant to call off the wedding and move on from this man without a doubt, but the level of discomfort you'll feel will be a walk in the park compared to years married to him. You know it isn't right, don't make a HUGE mistake knowingly to try to right a wrong that isn't even wrong (and nobody cares anyway). It's in your and your child's best interests to step away from a person who is unwilling to put any effort into their relationships.

You said: DP is lazy, selfish and greedy. He is constantly on his phone (playing games etc), only thinking about what he wants to do, can’t do the simplest of tasks that I leave him to do when I go out alone with DS (because he doesn’t want to come) and I’m scared that he will never be able to change. He won't change because he doesn't want to change! He's self-centred and self-indulgent and when he does do as he pleases and sod the rest of you, you'll seethe and burn with resentment. Why sign up for that?!

You can’t marry someone who seems to you lazy selfish and greedy. Not far to yourself or to him actually.

I’m a divorced Christian. Don’t do it ….