Ex is ignoring me and poorly DD is at his house with medication

[SalemsLot1]

The kids are at their dads house, and DDs phone is off, sometimes she forgets to charge it and texted ex asking him to ask DD about her phone. He ignored me, as I can see he has read my message. DD has her medication with her, and I wanted to ask her if she’s taken it today.

Because I couldn’t get hold of her, I asked ex. Again, ignored me.

He is useless with it comes to remembering things, last time one of the kids were ill and were prescribed antibiotics, I found out he did not give it to the child even though I reminded him many times.

It’s been two hours since I texted him and I don’t know if I’m being unreasonable to expect a reply “so soon”?

How old is dd? Is medication a course/regular?
When she back?

How old is she? Yes it's a bit shit that he's ignoring you but if she has her own phone presumably she's old enough to be responsible for taking her medication herself?

unless you’re going to tell us he’s an abusive father, presumably the fact he hasn’t engaged with you doesn’t mean he hasn’t reminded his daughter to take her meds

You’re expecting an unreasonable man to be reasonable: assume he’s always been controlling and knows you’ll worry about her and her need to take it.
I hope your DD has remembered her medication.

This.

I think you have to trust that either she’s remembered or he’s seen the text.

Does dd have a sibling there? I know that you shouldn’t involve the children but they might be able to charge DD’s phone for her or let you know she’s sleeping or whatever.

When you decided to have your daughter with him you must have trusted he'd look after her? Why do you think you need to be checking up on your daughter. This sounds like an excuse to interrupt their contact time tbh.

She has a phone so I'm assuming mid to late teens?

Assuming mid to late teens I say she is old enough to deal with her own medication.

How would you react if your ex intruded on your contact time in this way? I think you need to back off, in the absence of a massive back story or drip feed.

How would you feel if he was checking up on you like this?

If DD is old enough to have a phone, she's old enough to remember to take her own medication IMO.

i assume that 'the ex' is well aware that DD has medication and needs to take it as i would assume you gave him this information on hand over?

could you not have simply sent a text to the ex saying 'don't forget (insert name here) needs her medication at 'x' o'clock?'

why do you need to keep in constant touch with your DD? they are with their dad, its his time with her now?

Jesus. She's with her Dad not a stranger. Stop hassling them.

now it’s the Op ignoring us because we didn’t give her the responses she expected / wanted!

there will be a massive drip feed next!

Wow - some of the previous posters replies are a bit harsh!

I get the worry about your dd and I would be the same. My ExH is also the same with replying & it is annoying and in my opinion a little bit childish. If dd was with me & was ill and her dad messaged asking about her I’d message back as I’d understand that he was concerned about her. It’s not infringing on the other parents contact time it’s just asking about your sick child.

Agree with this!

What's the maximum allowed response time for OPs?

It's all about kindness at the end of the day. Inwardly, your ex might be eyerolling at you getting in touch. But it's not kind to just ignore you when you're enquiring about your poorly child. It would take seconds to put your mind at ease.
Some men like the control. Next time don't give him the satisfaction and tell your daughter that she needs to take responsibility for her phone.

No rules as far as i’m aware 😆

The ex has form for not giving medication though.
Do people really just not contact their children when they’re with their other parent? That isn’t how it works here. In either direction. Both I and XH would message one another to check on dc as well as texting the dc.

Plus, it’s not HIS contact time, it’s the children’s.

my ex and i message every day and many times not even about the children (often about our mutual hatred of James O Brian)

but i can imagine that some divorced couples aren’t quite so friendly

I think it would be normal for a dad to text mum and ask how dd was feeling because she wasn’t replying to text.

Asking about medication is normally unfair but he previously didn’t give her antibiotics so I can see why op is worried.

He is useless with it comes to remembering things, last time one of the kids were ill and were prescribed antibiotics, I found out he did not give it to the child even though I reminded him many times.

Not surprised you’re worried. What a careless twat he is.

Any update op?