13yo son faking/exaggerating illness

[Nc101999]

Is this normal for his age? He was playing football this morning and someone kicked him in the ankle. We iced it when we got home but he seemed fine and moving around. We went shopping and again he seemed okay. He rushed to get an Xbox card he wanted, and I refused to buy it for him. Since then he's been super slow walking (he's made a point of this by waking >10m behind us with a sudden limp in the supermarket). When we got home he started using my crutches (ones I have handy in case my back injury plays up). I reckon he's exaggerating all of this. I cannot tell him to clean up after himself now, and he's very behind with his school work so we had planned to do a little studying which of course now I cannot ask him to do (even though it involves sitting down!). My husband thinks he's being genuine and I'm being unreasonable.

Am I being harsh? How do I manage this?

Well my girend didn’t believe her daughters arm was that sore and she had a cracked bone in her wrist.
I would call his bluff and tell him you’re taking him to A&E or the nearest walk-in because you’re worried he may have damaged it. Tell him to be prepared for a long wait and see what his response is. You’ll soon know if he’s exaggerating

Even if he has a sore foot - he can still study!!!

Ice, couple of painkillers, elevate it and get the books out.

the world doesn’t stop because of a minor injury.

Many of us have to live with chronic pain and you have to ‘get on with it’ .

Of course get it checked by medics if it seems a serious or major injury but from what you’ve said - I wouldn’t over pander to him.

If he doesn't normally play up injuries, then I'd be concerned that after the adrenalin wore off then it started feeling worse, and there might be more wrong.
If he does normally play up injuries then let him get on with it.

I have 3 dc:
Dd1 generally plays down injuries until she can't any more eg faints.
Dd2 plays up anything
Ds plays up illnesses that might get him off school and plays down injuries. It's normally a long negotiation going to A&E with potential fractures, and that's if he's let you know he's hurt.

So if dd2 comes to me and says something hurts then I tend to stick some cream on, and tell her nothing a good night sleep won't cure, unless there's evidence to the contrary.
If ds lets me know something is slightly hurting, then it's normally as soon as he can be got in the car A&E necessary.

Try suggesting to your ds that he probably needs it checking out at A&E. There will be a long wait being Saturday night of course.
That often cures dd2.

Why are you so sure he's exaggerating? It seems odd your immediate thought is he's lying rather than he's actually been genuinely hurt.

I'd suggest to him that you take him to minor injuries or A&E as pp suggested

Unless he has a history of doing this I don't understand why you wouldn't believe him

I rammed my clinical trolley into my own Achilles at work last year as I was dragging it through a door to restock it, and couldn’t put any weight on it for about four days. If he doesn’t have a history of exaggerating, I’d be inclined to believe that it really bloody hurts and take him to a minor injuries unit.

Sorry I should have mentioned he does have a history if doing this! Also these episodes tend to follow someone else (sibling, parent)'s illness or injury.

My husband is pandering to him so we definitely won't be getting any studying done this weekend. And I'll spend it tidying up after him.

Why can he not do school work because of a sore foot. ???

Why on earth can't you remind him to do his studying?

I fail to see how an injured ankle prevents that and if it is preventing him sitting down writing/reading, then he obviously is too unwell to watch tv/play games and so must go to bed with his foot elevated in a dark room and sleep/rest with his eyes shut.

Or of course it is so serious that he needs to go to A&E now and thats going to be a 12+ hour wait on a hard chair with nothing to do...

He can certainly do some study, give him some painkillers or some ibuprofen gel on his ankle and an ice pack. If DH is happy to pander to him, he can tidy up after him too!