Ex and I have had an amicable arrangement, children (14 and 9) go to him twice a week, one weeknight, which I'm very grateful for as I get to stay late, work and see my partner (teacher, so I really need an evening a week to catch up without the children there) and one weekend night. Very flexible, he rents in the town we live in. His choice, he earns enough to get a mortgage and we agreed I'd stay in the house for now and take him off the deeds. I pay the mortgage entirely and all upkeep on the house, he pays me minimal child maintenance but earns 30k more than me.
He recently started seeing someone who lives over an hour away. Then the arrangements changed so that we each had one full weekend and two weekends where they had one night at each house and weeknight at his. Only been a month but seems ok. They have a good relationship but are happy to be home.
He's recently finally said he's ready to divorce. Wants it done quickly. (I've explained there's more steps to be done, I still live in the marital home, mortgage deal fixed for 3 years and we had agreed because of the kids SEND that we would wait till DD was done with GCSEs.) he earns loads more than me but has less pension mainly because he's rubbish with money nd wouldn't sort one out till he was made to.
He wants to move in with girlfriend of 6 months and then will only see the children every other weekend. He doesn't drive yet (thinks he's going to learn in a week, he once had 3 years of lessons and never took his test)
I'm just sad for them, they're going to go from seeing him twice a week, in their home town, so still able to do activities etc, to staying as guests in her house, where i think she has two children who are older. They might not have their own rooms and they won't be able to hang out with friends over those weekends.
I like the new girlfriend but it's only been a while and it seems really serious, I am worried about the children for so many reasons.
I also think he's going to try to get the divorce done whilst he's renting to try to get more of a percentage of the equity based on him needing to buy somewhere, then move in with her so actually he is housed and sorted, meanwhile shafting my chance of getting enough to buy somewhere new. In addition, DD has needs which means she might not be able to attend school full time, it can be exhausting trying to keep up full time working and looking after the children and juggling all her appointments etc, I know it's selfish but I really need that break each week when they stay there just to have the energy to keep going.
I just feel like he's throwing everything in to be with his girlfriend and his kids are getting a raw deal. I'm happy for him that he's found someone, she's nice and gets on well with the kids, but I'm just concerned he's not thinking of them...and that he's worked out that he can be better off (he's very money motivated and said it was partly a financial decision) by divorcing then moving with a large sum of equity whist I have to house the children and myself somehow on what's left.
Anyone been in the same position? I can't change it obviously, it's up to him. I just worry they're not going to be ok, although I guess they will eventually.