How would you react to this 10 year old?

[ICantStopEatingg1]

I’m still thinking about this I know I shouldn’t be as she’s just a child but it’s really making me wonder whether I should have said something or if I was right to stay quiet:

I volunteered for an after school event at my child’s school where the kids watched a movie and had snacks. I was just there supervising with 4 other parents and about 5 teachers. It was very obvious I was a mum not a teacher so can’t excuse the child for not knowing. My daughter (younger year) kept coming to me for a cuddle and I told her to sit down, next minute this 10 year old girl charges towards me knocking my daughter over demanding to know when the film would start. I told her very shortly. Film had then started then the same girl came over to me and very demandingly told me her clip had fallen out and I need to keep it safe for her, I put it on the table next to me and said she can get it at the end. She kept making really angry faces at me. I walked a little further away but she kept coming up to me only and demanding things. There were many other adults there but she kept coming to me and shouting at me to do things for her. I kept being nice to her and asking her to sit down and watch the film.

what would you have done? I’m a little out off volunteering again if I’m being honest. I don’t want to use the word “brat” but that’s the type of behaviour she was displaying.

I honestly would have told her off.

“I’ll be happy to help you when you speak to me politely.”

I would have spoken to a teacher to get a better idea of her usual behaviour.

Couldn't you have asked a teacher to handle the situation?

You should have perhaps said something like "Sorry I'm just Jane's mum. You need to ask Miss Teacher if you need something".

I volunteer a lot at the school, and I'll tell any kid off for that type behaviour.

As this was the first time I volunteered I was a little nervous to be quite honest so didn’t want to draw attention to myself by “making a fuss”. If that makes sense so I just dealt with her. I was worried I wouldn’t be asked to volunteer again!

Thanks for that. I would t get in trouble then with the school?

My self esteem is very low so I was second guessing myself!

I guess I care less about being told off by the school but telling a kid off doesn't mean being rude or shouting at them.

Told her to go away, I don't do things for rude people. At that age, there's no excuse.

I think I need to practice some phrases for next time! Such as no I cannot keep hold of your clip that’s your responsibility etc

I just remembered she said in a really angry voice “DON’t lose my clip!” 😂

"Go and ask a teacher" would be my response to any demands. They will know how best to deal with the child. Volunteering is supervising the reasonable kids.

Perhaps she was 'chancing ' it with you because you were an unknown face? None of her behaviour was acceptable. In future, if you don't want to get into confrontation with her, get up and speak to one of the teachers or the organisers and let them know this girl is behaving badly. It may be that she has behavioural issues and the staff can deal with her

If this is being supervised by staff as well as parents then I would have referred her to her teacher.
She sounds as if she may have some additional needs… she may just be a bit of a pain 🤷🏼‍♀️.

Children are very good at weighing people up and can see things in people that adults can’t.

she sensed you were an easy target and uncomfortable in the situation you were in.

you need to be firm with her otherwise she’ll become a pain in the arse for you

I don’t have any advice OP but I do have a cute semi related story to share.

We had a girl like this at the school I used to work in when I was 18 (I was a TA in Yr6…). She was called Jessica. Tried to boss around all the adults thinking she was in charge. Always demanding things and would never be patient or just sit down quietly. She used to scare me a bit.

One day some graffiti emerged calling her Bossica. I couldn’t help but laugh (the graffiti was formally dealt with by teachers)

Anyway, Bossica I mean Jessica dialled down her bossiness after this and grew up to be the most loveliest of woman.

I know her as a close friend now as we’re in the same hobby club. Our age gap isn’t that big at all! It’s quite funny looking back! 🤣

I sometimes still call her Bossica after a few gins.

She's a natural bully and instinctively homed in on you.

Something like this id have said 'i'm not sure I want to look after this for you if you are so worried about it, you need to look after it yourself'. And handed it back.
And demands /unpleasant tone of voice would have been met with 'do you want to try asking that again in a nicer way, im afraid that wasn't a very polite way of speaking to me was it?' said pointedly.
You can get the message across without shouting etc, you do not have to be a pushover!!!

Hmm, interesting it started after her seeing you cuddling DD. My first thought is that she was jealous. Maybe she doesn't get much of that at home. Either way, I'd be directing to teaching staff.

Maybe she's neuro divergent.

”sorry, I’m not a teacher, but let’s go find someone who can help you” and I’ve had led her to a teacher who could help. That makes it clear to the child that you’re not the person, and also brings it to the attention of a teacher. .

You're within your rights to (nicely, calmly) tell her off. When I've volunteered on school trips before, the teacher said "any problems/behaviour issues etc, grab a teacher, but if it's just low level stuff and you feel you can deal with it then feel free to get on with it 😁"

Equally it would've been fine to redirect her to the teacher, or if she wouldn't be redirected just go speak to a teacher yourself - even if it meant walking over to the teacher whilst the child followed and saying something like "I'm having some issues with x..."

Yes I'd have said this too. I used to volunteer a lot in primary school and I was there just for extra supervision and numbers. Any bad behaviour was always dealt with by the teachers who knew the children best.

If it's still bothering you I'd have a word with her teachers and see if she's always like that. I suspect if you'd been a bit firmer with her she'd have left you alone

If she was being that rude then one of the teachers should have stepped in and told her to be polite and sit down. Sounds like she saw you as an easy target. Be polite, professional, but firm going forward.