To think I should have said something?

[Mumsieslady]

Maybe I’m being a bit hormonal or ridiculous but I’m really angry about something minor that happened and wish I had said something.

I’m almost 8 months pregnant and got on a train yesterday in the evening and it was quite packed but had standing room. I saw a spare seat in an open booth (the ones with the table in the middle) and wondered why no one was sitting there. So I went to sit down and there were a bunch of kids there and one boy put his bag in the seat and told me his mate was in the toilet so I couldn’t sit there.

I thought ok never mind. And went back to where I was standing whilst the bunch of kids started giggling and smirking. The whole journey no one came out of the toilet and the boy’s bag remained in the seat the whole journey! I was so exhausted and wearing a long thick coat so people may not have noticed I was pregnant (nor would I except people to move for me anyway) and I just suffered in silence. I was so angry at how rude they were!

Should I have said something or would you have just kept quiet? I am very shy and anxious anyway and hate confrontation and it was clear other people were annoyed too but I don’t want to cause trouble and argue with a bunch of kids.

you can't turn back time, but next time maybe, I'll sit til they get back and then move, being pregnant, then when they never return, you have a seat

Would you have wanted to sit by them? They sound terrible.

I would have but he put his large rucksack in the chair immediately so I couldn’t sit and I couldn’t move it without some sort of what I assume would be confrontation nor would I touch someone else’s belongings.

”That’s fine, I’ll move when he returns”. I find the youth really frustrating.

I suppose one approach would be to move the bag yourself and sit down. Or you could say "I'm pregnant and need a seat" and probably someone else would offer you one if the boys were still being twats - I would in that situation.

I’m thinking who are raising these kids to have no manners! I probably would have been too non confrontational to move it but kinda wished I did!

How old were the kids OP? Were they the sort of age where you think they'd have got nasty if you'd gone back and plonked yourself down, pointing out that you'd wised up to their silly little game? If so, then I think you were probably better off to leave it. On the other hand, if they were younger kids, I'd have gone back, sat down, and then when they said 'but that's our friend's seat', I'd have probably said something like, 'Well, as he's been in the toilet for so long, he's obviously finding that seat more comfortable, so I'm taking THIS one!' with a raised eyebrow, indicating that you were totally aware of their silly game.

They looked to be about 15? I’d guess year 8 or 9? They were giggling and very loud. The bag remained in the seat and I’m not confident enough to move someone’s things. I should have said something though. Very rude!

I must say in the situation you describe I wouldn't have said anything. I would not want to have to sit next to rude people, especially rude young people. Given their behaviour towards you I would have expected that to escalate if you had taken the seat. I also would not want to engage in a battle with the hope of gaining that seat or having to teach young people how to behave.

i had that on a train once and they were the most horrible little shits - teenagers all bots and the train was packed with another cancelled so standing room only. They claimed their mate was at the toilet. I had a seat and challenged them when they refused to give the spare seat up to someone who asked for it. It was obvious there was no fourth person coming back to the seat.

they were fucking arseholes and I still cannot believe that people let them get away with it. This is why they do it, no consequences. I’m sorry you had to stand OP. That’s disgusting of them.