To ask if you've ever been at rock bottom, and how you got yourself out?

[justagirlatrockbottom]

I feel like I'm completely at rock bottom. I'm in my early 30s, single and have barely any friends, the friends I do have are all in relationships and in exciting chapters of their lives - engagements, moving in together, buying their first home, having children.

I was making do and trying to build a life for myself 'on my own' following a break up. Then I lost my job due to company redundancies, completely out of the blue. I've been applying to jobs but keep getting rejection after rejection despite being well qualified and with good experience. My savings are tanking. I was hoping to buy a flat in the next 1-2 years, but the savings I have spent years building up are now having to be used to pay my bills.

It feels like in the blink of an eye I've lost the only thing that was going well for me in my life - my career - and now I literally have nothing. I feel angry and bitter about it, upset, hopeless.

AIBU to ask for your advice on how to get out of this slump?

If you are religious, I would really appreciate your prayers.

So sorry lovely, that sounds so tough.
I don’t have any advice, just wanted to bump so someone else sees this, and send you 🙏🏻 that things improve for you soon.

It sounds like you are going through a really hard time right now. Sending you a hug.

I’ve been at rock bottom, for different reasons, but felt like life would never have joy in it again.

The secret is starting small rather than focusing on the overall picture.

Whilst waiting for the right job to come up, is there a course of skill that you would like to do/learn? It would be a way to meet new people and make like minded friends that maybe aren’t at the same life stage as some of your friends. Adult learning colleges, sometimes have good offers and funding for those out of work.

Hope things pick up for you.

I got a dog. Not joking. I had depression and anxiety. I was 39. Moving house & jobs brought it on i think.

Got a dog 6 months in when i was feeling capable of doing something. Basically not had a minute to think about myself since. That was 2.5yrs ago. Had a couple of blips but nothing major.

Not necessarily saying get a dog but get something for you to focus on other than you.

And all the best 🌻

That all sounds very hard @justagirlatrockbottom and getting rejection after rejection from job applications must be very hard to take. Really not surprising that you feel at rock bottom.

I’ve had a few of these periods, and endured that thing of watching others’ lives move on and fill up with what I hoped for myself.

Things that helped, in no particular order:
Self compassion
Try and do at least one thing a day that gives you pleasure (‘sparks joy’ is a bit too high a bar sometimes!)
Talk to your GP, you may well be depressed and anti- depressants are worth considering.
Get outside at least once a day. Vigorous exercise if you like that, and some people swear by cold dips/ swimming/ showers. Bit too much for me, but I really benefit from getting the rain on my face.
Cook yourself some good food that’s nourishing and appetising
Do something for someone or something else. It’s proven to make us feel better. Voluntary work if you can find something that attracts you, is a good way to make connections with people and possibly new friends.

I’ll be thinking of you 💐