I was born in 1989 in Eastern Europe.
When I was 5 my father got involved with a cult (extreme offshoot of Seventh Day Adventists). No TV, no job above minimum wage, no friends outside the church, no makeup or dressy clothes allowed.
He tried to get my mom to join and pressured her enough to leave her job. Then he told her everything that was in her name should go to him to then go to the church or else he's leaving. She said it wasn't hers to give away as her grandmother had willed her a sizable sum.
He moved out and took everything of any value with him. Several months later he called, saying he wanted to return without his terms but by that time my mom had a decent job and with the help of her mom was raising me just fine. She said she'd think on it and basically had my grandma field further calls.
He also took me one time and wouldn't give me back after visitation was over, police had to get involved.
When I was in the US in college in my 2nd year, he wrote me a letter asking me to forgive his child support debt that had piled up. I wrote that since my mom raised me with no help from him, it wouldn't be right.
Anyway...I still have this idea that the cult caused him to be a terrible person and that I can rescue him still, after all this time. Also, I'm so hurt still that he'd just abandon us like that.
Thoughts? I've talked about this in therapy but all I can do is let go of what happened, and I can't, it comes back up.