To not enjoy hearing about my friend’s menstrual cycle?

[Genevive24]

She for some reason feels the need to drop information about her period regularly into conversations. Whether it’s heavy, how bad her cramps are, how sluggish she’s feeling, the pros and cons of a mooncup and recommendations for using one, the fact that she needs to go and buy more tampons or painkillers or whatever.

We’re good friends, but not close friends, if that makes sense. I certainly never share this sort of personal information with her. If she had a particular medical issue that she wanted me to understand and empathise with, it would be different. But she doesn’t, she just seems to like talking about it unnecessarily in my view, and I find it really uncomfortable. A bit like if she was describing her bowel movements to me. Yes I know it’s natural and nothing to be a ashamed of, but that doesn’t mean I want to hear about it either?

Am I being a prude here? Do I need to just put up with it? Any ideas how I can hint that I just don’t want to hear about it, without being totally rude?

Why hint? Just keep repeating tmi, or I'd rather not know and laugh.

She isn’t unreasonable for talking about it, you’re not unreasonable for not wanting to hear it. But you are being unreasonable to not just tell her you don’t want to hear about it. If I was going on too much about something and didn’t realise, and a friend playfully said to stop I would probably just laugh and say “oops sorry, I have been going on a bit too much haven’t I” and then move on.

Thanks, it isn’t really that she goes on and on in one conversation, it’s just that she constantly brings it up and drops it into things. e.g. “Oh yes I’d love to go to the theatre, I’ll be on my period that weekend so sitting still for a while will be perfect. Last time I was on I had to mow the lawn and I was in agony!.”

Not a big deal really, but it’s grating on me.

I have a friend who does this as well. It doesn’t particularly offend or gross me out I just find it bizarre that she wants to share this much detail about her menstrual cycle with the world and its wife.

Periods do affect mood, motivation and energy levels of course but I think it’s a mistake to get into the mindset that you are completely at the mercy of your hormones as well. It’s self defeating.

I feel a bit like this with a lot of the menopause discussion too. I think it’s great that the taboo has been removed from menopause and that women are able to talk about it but I think there’s a risk of seeing everything through the lens of what your hormones are doing: it plays into stereotypes that women are hysterical creatures who are dominated by biology. We are more than our hormones.

@Thepeopleversuswork I 100% agree with all that you’ve said.

It sounds like the discomfort might come from how society tends to view periods as taboo, even though it’s a natural part of life. Maybe think about if this is more about internalised ideas around what’s acceptable to talk about rather than her being inappropriate. It could be worth reflecting on why it feels uncomfortable.

Some people have far more difficult and heavy cycles than others and it really impacts their lives. She obviously struggles with hers which is why she is sharing. It wouldn't grate me to know someone was in agony with period pains. But just tell her you don't like to discuss it.

Honestly who would enjoy hearing about this? Nothing to do with being grossed out. It's just tedious. I don't want to hear about your store cupboards either.

I had such heavy cycles that I had to have a hysterectomy. But I didn't force my friends to listen to this in every convo.

Yes, but as the OP said, bowel movements are a natural part of life, but are not generally seen as a topic of conversation.

Some things are personal and private, surely.

Do you think maybe your friend is looking for some empathy?