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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this father who’s been on the run with his kids for three years needs finding

45 replies

DanielaDressen · 12/10/2024 08:17

Really bizarre story. Sounds like they’ve been living in the bush for the last few years interspersed with a spot of armed bank robbery. They were recently sighted and the police searched the area for three days and then called the search off! After three days!

Those poor kids shouldn’t be living like this. Sounds like the police think any further searching is pointless

www.stuff.co.nz/nz-news/350449273/search-tom-phillips-cop-reveals-dangers-task-hand www.stuff.co.nz/nz-news/350449273/search-tom-phillips-cop-reveals-dangers-task-hand]]]]

OP posts:
ahemfem · 12/10/2024 09:21

I don't think anyone would argue this is an unreasonable stance

Frozensnow · 12/10/2024 09:34

I read this and couldn’t believe he has evaded capture for so long! Am baffled they haven’t been found yet- those poor kids!

Gemstonebeach · 12/10/2024 09:46

I feel a bit sorry for the police, it’s a very isolated community with rugged terrain to search and he is almost certainly being assisted by his parents (and others) to avoid being caught. This time he ventured onto a non-friendly farm, hopefully he makes that mistake again soon and they finally catch him.

Aussieland · 12/10/2024 09:50

New Zealand is huge and wild and if you know what you are doing and had a little help it would be almost impossible to find you and you could live wild a long time. I imagine they are moving around. Unless the person who is helping them gives them up I don’t know how they will find them. Poor kids. I don’t know how easy it would be to reintegrate into society again let alone the trauma they will have relating to both their parents (as in I wonder what their father has been telling them about their mother)

parietal · 12/10/2024 10:00

There was another thread on this. Two problems with an all-out search came up. First, there are probably local people helping him - with local help and a massive wild search area, it could be impossible to find him. Second, an aggressive hunt has a high risk of becoming a murder-suicide situation. So efforts are mainly focused on persuading the local helpers to turn him in.

MolkosTeenageAngst · 12/10/2024 10:03

After 3 days it’s not like they’re likely to have stayed in the same place, searching in a large rural area is difficult even when the missing person isn’t trying to evade being found. If somebody is trying to evade being found, had the resources and knowledge of the local area to hide and likely has support from family or friends in the area it’s going to be much harder to find them. I don’t think that the fact the search of this area of the bush has been stopped after 3 days means that the police no longer want to find this man, it just means they don’t think it is likely they will find him in the area he was sighted in now as he’s likely either moved on or has an effective hiding spot and so they’re not concentrating time and resources to that search anymore. Obviously the case is still open and the police are still wanting to find him, but it will be tough without any more information about where in the bush he may be and who is helping him. There may be other investigations going on behind the scene into friends, family and locals etc which aim to find out how the man is being supported.

DanielaDressen · 12/10/2024 10:20

It does make sense that it’s just too remote/wild to be able to find him. Maybe they should set up surveillance on likely suspects who may be helping him. Being on the run for three years is crazy.

OP posts:
DreamW3aver · 12/10/2024 10:27

ahemfem · 12/10/2024 09:21

I don't think anyone would argue this is an unreasonable stance

I've only opening this to see the same, who is going to disagree?

Justcallmebebes · 12/10/2024 10:32

I read an article on this today and it said when the patents split, he was granted full custody. This was a few years ago. Does anyone know why he had full custody?

Rainbowqueeen · 12/10/2024 10:36

Yeah the concern is that he has a gun and that he will use it if cornered.

He definitely has help. The police offered an $80 000 reward but no one was willing to give useful information.

Its an incredibly difficult situation.

Sailonsilverrgirl · 12/10/2024 10:41

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

AdaColeman · 12/10/2024 10:56

I think the police are in a difficult position. The father is wanted for armed robbery, so if he were cornered with the children, things might well turn fatally violent, which would be disastrous.
He is obviously getting some help, so while that continues, I think the "softly" police approach is best.

DanielaDressen · 12/10/2024 11:03

DreamW3aver · 12/10/2024 10:27

I've only opening this to see the same, who is going to disagree?

Some people must because the police do think people are helping him stay hidden. They think there’s a danger that some locals see him as a “Robin Hood” type figure. And that he’s a hero 🤷‍♀️

reading between the lines of some stuff I read I did wonder if he’d initially taken the kids as he had concerns regarding the parenting/upbringing from their mum. So did he think he was rescuing them?

OP posts:
DanielaDressen · 12/10/2024 11:03

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

I think there is/was quite a big reward.

OP posts:
DanielaDressen · 12/10/2024 11:04

Justcallmebebes · 12/10/2024 10:32

I read an article on this today and it said when the patents split, he was granted full custody. This was a few years ago. Does anyone know why he had full custody?

I saw a comment about the mum having drug issues. Not sure if that comment was correct and whether that might be in the past as I’ve seen nothing about it in actual newspaper articles.

OP posts:
Roundthemoon · 12/10/2024 11:34

A poster said on the other thread that he is in an anti-government area, and that some people in the area see him as a hero, who is standing up for father's rights.

They see him as fighting for fathers rights, standing up against the family court and the establishment.

80,000 pounds was offered to people helping him as a reward, but no one would turn him in. So he has some loyal support there.

Obviously it's not the best thing for the kids to be out in the wild. But he has planned it well and has a lot of supporters.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 12/10/2024 11:37

80,000 pounds was offered to people helping him as a reward, but no one would turn him in. So he has some loyal support there

I'd don't think I'd be getting involved in potentially pissing off a bloke with weapons, a history of armed robbery and the ability to evade capture for years, either. Nobody wants a pissed off Rambo turning up on your isolated farm, do they?

Autumnweddingguest · 12/10/2024 11:38

They could have travelled 75 miles or more in any direction in the three days since the sighting - draw a circle with a 75 miles radius and you have an enormous search area. Very hard to cover that with limited resources. And you can't ask volunteers to get involved if he is a madman with a gun and three vulnerable children.

Roundthemoon · 12/10/2024 11:39

NeverDropYourMooncup · 12/10/2024 11:37

80,000 pounds was offered to people helping him as a reward, but no one would turn him in. So he has some loyal support there

I'd don't think I'd be getting involved in potentially pissing off a bloke with weapons, a history of armed robbery and the ability to evade capture for years, either. Nobody wants a pissed off Rambo turning up on your isolated farm, do they?

But sure how would he know it's them?

He's moved around a lot.

A lot of people are armed with guns.

That doesn't stop people in places like the USA - giving tips on people's whereabouts

Roundthemoon · 12/10/2024 11:41

I do think the police could make a bit more effort.

A local new zealand woman posted on the other thread. She said that the police have just set up checkpoints and things like that, hoping he 'll drive through.

DanielaDressen · 12/10/2024 15:52

Can someone li k to the other thread please, i can’t find it?

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MintTwirl · 12/10/2024 16:01

I was reading about this yesterday. He seems to be an anti establishment/conspiracy theory type from some of the comments I read. I feel for the kids although god only knows what he has told them.

Naunet · 12/10/2024 16:23

Roundthemoon · 12/10/2024 11:34

A poster said on the other thread that he is in an anti-government area, and that some people in the area see him as a hero, who is standing up for father's rights.

They see him as fighting for fathers rights, standing up against the family court and the establishment.

80,000 pounds was offered to people helping him as a reward, but no one would turn him in. So he has some loyal support there.

Obviously it's not the best thing for the kids to be out in the wild. But he has planned it well and has a lot of supporters.

Edited

Fathers rights?! Anyone who thinks that is clearly an idiot who doesn’t actually care about the children at all, just a man’s ‘right’ to do whatever the fuck he wants. Shame on anyone protecting him.

Roundthemoon · 12/10/2024 16:26

Naunet · 12/10/2024 16:23

Fathers rights?! Anyone who thinks that is clearly an idiot who doesn’t actually care about the children at all, just a man’s ‘right’ to do whatever the fuck he wants. Shame on anyone protecting him.

I did see on another forum, that the mother in this family isn't particularly great either.

Naunet · 12/10/2024 16:33

Roundthemoon · 12/10/2024 16:26

I did see on another forum, that the mother in this family isn't particularly great either.

But the kids aren’t with her and she’s not being protected by dipshits who think it’s her ‘right’ to be a shit parent.

Just blows my mind that there are people trying to justify this (not suggesting you are one of them!)

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