Attendance safeguarding - just madness!

[AttendanceNightmares]

I have had ongoing issues with school not meeting my autistic 12 yo DD's needs. She is so unwell now she is unable to attend.

I am working with a few different teams from the council and NHS to try and support her. However the attendance woman from the council has been an utter nightmare, just constant threats and harassment. Today she decided to take it a step further and turn up unannounced on my doorstep along with the attendance officer from school. She somehow thinks I'm going to let her see my mentally unwell child!

I let her know my DC had been at a session with the local mental health charity earlier in the week and was seeing the specialist autism teacher on Monday so had been and was being 'seen'. I also reminded her only last week Children's Services had declined the referal from the school as there were no safeguarding concerns.

It makes me so angry. Where were their concerns around safeguarding when my DD was being traumatised at school? Now she's at home safe and sound they're concerned about her welfare!!

Bump

I feel for you. My son is 22 now but couldn’t cope in secondary school resulting in suicide attempts. We withdrew him from school to HE in the end.
I really hope you can access the support you need. Some schools just really make things worse.

I understand schools need to see children for safeguarding reasons, but in the context of school refusal/trauma it needs to be handled a different way.
Im lucky we had a good relationship with school, including attendance who understood I was doing what I could and I updated them daily.

We are coming out of the other side of this just now, not completely. The way this is managed is completely wrong and thank goodness I could give up work and navigate and manage this for DD as we wouldn’t be here now. Schools need money for support staff to start with to manage this, they can make all the difference.

I was talking to someone at DDs school yesterday about how non attenders by choice and children who are unable attend are lumped together - it creates a mess.

I really understand why so many parents home educate with ND/mentally unwell DC because the pressure you are put under is ridiculous. I wonder if they do it on purpose to get you off their caseload!

I'm sorry to hear about your son. That must have been devastating. I hope he is doing better now.

The school has marked all of her non- attendance down as unauthorised. The GP has made an urgent referal to CAMHS which has been accepted - they know full well she is unwell.

Sorry to hear about DD difficulties right now - I work in the field and know just how challenging it is to get support.

If you are able to afford it, the best thing to do is to get a private medical professional to sign her off for mental health eg state she cannot attend due to high anxiety associated with asd, attendance would lead to a decline in her mental health.

You can then request emergency home education under section 19. LAs drag their heels on this, but starts the ball rolling to get proper specialist support.

Ideally the private professional saying she can’t attend should be a psychiatrist or clinical psychologist, but this is expensive and hard to find availability. I have been able to support families to use a private GP (£80 ish here in London) instead and this has worked. Gets attendance of your back.

I forgot to say that following me telling her that she said she would be getting the police to do a welfare check! I said 'go ahead, you're the one who will look an idiot.' Why make these obviously empty threats? (Of course no police turned up!)

That’s terrible about attendance. I must say this year has been different because of the new attendance guidance and there tolerance has dropped.
I spoke to a deputy head who was saying how pleased she was about DD and how she was the kind of student they needed. I know we’ve been very lucky.

Thank you so much for all the advice. I will definitely look for a private GP.

I'm glad your DD is coming out the other side.

Here’s a link to section 19 requests. IPSEA website is your best friend

https://www.ipsea.org.uk/faqs/what-support-should-the-la-give-me-if-my-child-is-out-of-school-for-any-other-reason

Thanks so much

I've just spoken to someone at the council about the Attendance person and they've told me to put a formal complaint in. But I've got so much on my plate right now the thought of having to make another complaint (already trying to make a complaint about some things at school) just makes me feel overwhelmed.

Do you have a diagnosis ? Do you have an EHCP? (If not, apply to the council for one straight away)

Ask to see the nominated attendance officer dealing with " children missing school due to illness" . They should be more understanding and point you to small group or tutor options.

Yes, she has a diagnosis of autism and also anxiety.

I applied for an EHCNA but it was turned down as the school has not put a graduated response plan into place.

Thank you for that, I'll try that.

I had this some years ago with my eldest. He just wasn't coping with the school environment.
School themselves were brilliant and tried everything to get him to attend, reduced timetable, dropping a subject, and was offered a college course (refused because classroom setting)
Was referred to CAMHS by school but that wasn't what he needed.

I had multiple meetings with school re non attendance and they were happy that I was doing everything I could to try and get him there.
The attendance officer was another matter.
She visited once and ds refused to speak to her. Second time he refused to come out his room which I told her at the door. No point you coming in as he won't engage with you. She said at this point she would return with school police and he'll be forced to go to school. My shocked reaction to that was 'they'll have to break down my door then".

Ds had heard this conversation and when she left, he bolted out the door. So now I had an epileptic 13 yr old and no idea where he was.

She did return with the police and they looked in every room to make sure he wasn't there.
Once they left ds returned as he hadn't gone far and was watching.

After this we were offered help from Action for Children who were brilliant. He got a befriender that would take him out once a week to something fun and try and get him to behimself. This then led onto taster sessions in different employment areas, mechanics and landscaping for eg. He loved this. In the meantime he was given a tutor 2 days a week at the local library.

This was all from the age of 13 to school leaving age and was a very difficult time but he thrived knowing he didn't have to go back to school.

He's now an adult with a job and no issues whatsoever. The school environment isn't for everyone.

You will get out the other side op.

What on earth were the police going to do? And how on earth is traumatising an already vulnerable child productive?

I'm so glad your DS got the help he needed.

According to the attendance officer, ds would be taken in police car to school, forcibly if need be.
I told her, her actions have now caused a bigger problem because now ds whereabouts are unknown and if she comes back to my door it will remain shut.

A lot of focus was on ds mood and how low it was. It really wasn't, he was shy and just didn't want to talk to strangers, eg doctor and CAMHS people. He was absolutely fine when out if school.

I know exactly what you mean. The attendance woman from the council said to me 'I just want to meet your DD.' You may well do, but do you think a DC with autistic burnout wants to meet a complete stranger? They never put the DC first. It's all about what they want.