Why can't we say obvious things like workplace relationships are transactional?

[YourCoolLimeGuide]

e.g. you are nice to each other because you are workplace colleagues but after that you no longer talk to each other outside of work, esp. if you get fired/made redundant

because then you can prevent this by asking x individual if you can add them on eg facebook or watsapp and then if its ok to text etc, then it covers the bases of if they want to chat or not outside of being a colleague. at least that was my methods

Who says you can't say workplace relationships are transactional?

I mean, maybe saying out loud in front of your current colleagues might be a bit off, but otherwise?

One of best friends is from work, we are in different teams now but sit next to each other supporting our local team! Have mutual friends not from the office to.

but then my method does depend on if the person being asked is honest when they say yes etc

Largely yes, but some of my best friends are from places I have worked

Boss is like this

Zero chit chatting

It has it's perks, but it's drawbacks too

I do like a bit of a natter but don't want to hang out at weekend

Do you mean you prefer to do things like that?

Many and most colleagues are just acquaintances to me. I’d still say hi though if I bumped into them and sometimes it’s lovely - we’d both know it was just exchanging pleasantries though normally. Some I’m fond of though… and occasionally someone becomes close (if we work together a very long time or just clicked) but that’s rare now I’m more senior.

It may be tricky to expect everyone to know the rule inside your head though.

or are you hurt because you’ve been made redundant and bumped into people? I’m sorry if so.

Not sure, most I haven’t been keen on, but I did meet 5/6 good friends from work over the years

I think plenty of people relate to and with their colleagues with this silently and mutually understood and don’t feel the need to actually say it out loud. Other people view it as less transactional and more simply “getting on and being pleasant and having a laugh because why would you want anything else with people you spend forty hours a week with?” And plenty of other people do have colleagues who they have actual friendships with.

Who or what is preventing you saying this, OP? It’s hardly controversial!

Why can't you say it? Who has told you that?

Depends really. I see on here people aghast that anyone would go to a work social event like a Xmas do or leaving party or something on a weekend evening, but we all really enjoy our social events and almost everyone goes. Many of us have known each other years, been to weddings, met new babies, etc. And I left for 5+ years and returned and kept in touch with most people there while I was away.

Mostly but sometimes you find a good friend at work who you hang onto!

I think you’re right to a degree, but it helps if you build trust and camaraderie with your team mates, even the annoying and weird ones. Suddenly work becomes more than the transactional because you’re in it together and those odd behaviours become familiar and tolerated and compensated for... Anybody who works for a team that’s like ‘a second family’ will probably tell you how much they enjoy their job.