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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Parent stopped child in playground

8 replies

Slowhorses1 · 11/10/2024 18:19

After school on Monday my daughter was stopped in the playground by another mother (who didn’t see that I was also there). I could see her speaking to my daughter for quite a while (year 5) from a distance and could tell something was up.

I went up to ask the mother and my daughter what was going on. Her daughter (let’s call her Mary) was sat on the floor sobbing. The mum shrugged me off obviously not wanting to talk to me, and said she didn’t know why her daughter was so upset but that she’d mentioned my DD.

I said I’d give her a minute and went to speak to my own daughter sperately who said something had happened in the classrooom with a party invite which had been dropped on the floor. My daughter had passed it to another child and said to return it to Mary. Apparently this other girl had then started laughing at the invite which in turn obviously upset Mary. My dd claims it was absolutely nothing to do with her and was really confused about the whole thing. She said this mother was accusing her of all sorts, but when I spoke to her about what was going on she claims she didn’t know why her daughter was so upset.

Aibu to think a) you don’t go up to a child in the playground and start quizzing them
in an accusatory manner b) you especially don’t do this if you haven’t even spoken to your own child about what’s happened first?

OP posts:
AgainandagainandagainSS · 11/10/2024 18:21

Agree. It’s silly girly nonsense that the mothers should not be getting involved in.

Soontobe60 · 11/10/2024 18:26

So a child is sobbing, mum asks her what’s wrong, she mentions another child’s name, mum sees that child and asks “do you know why DD’s crying?”. You ask mum what’s wrong and she explains, you speak to your DD, end of. You’re making too much out of this.

MargaretThursday · 11/10/2024 18:37

I don't think the mum was unreasonable here.
Her dd is upset, she hears your dd's name and asks what has happened.

She didn't accuse your dd of anything, she asked for information. That's fine

Slowhorses1 · 11/10/2024 20:16

Dd said she was accusing her of upsetting her child. When I asked her, she claimed that she didn’t however know what had happened, despite having a couple of minutes conversation with dd. I’m not massively upset about it, I just don’t think it’s on to accost a child like that.

OP posts:
floridaidea · 11/10/2024 20:40

It's not on to approach a child like that. This mother should have approached the class teacher. I'd be speaking to the school about this on Monday. I hope your DD is ok OP.

stanleypops66 · 11/10/2024 20:44

Mum sounds like a twat.

Bushmillsbabe · 11/10/2024 20:50

Unless this mum knew your daughter well, it was inappropriate to talk to her without either yourself or a teacher present.
My daughters closest 3 friends will happily chat away to me about all kinds of things as they know me well, are round ours most weeks, have stayed at ours several times etc, and if my daughter is in a grump I might ask one of them in passing if anything happened in school today - in the past they have told me about her being bullied before she has.

However it doesn't sound like this mum knew you or your daughter?

Slowhorses1 · 11/10/2024 21:04

Oh yes @Bushmillsbabe totally agree if she knew my daughter it would totally make sense. However she doesn’t know her at all. I’ve barely ever spoken to the mother before myself.

OP posts:
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