to not want to put money in DH pension and not mine?

[yellowcuptea]

Okay - so DH & I together 20 years, 2 kids. Have had the usual ups and downs.

DH is in highest earner bracket so puts a lot in pension as it's tax efficient. I earn about a third of what DH does. I went part-time for kids, took a hit on promotions, didn't pay into pension in maternity etc. but DH was free to go for big jobs.

DH has close to £1m in pension, I have a quarter of that. DH is now suggesting I basically drop my pension contributions to minimum, we put more of DH money in his pension, and use more of my salary to live off. More tax efficient.
Then when I'm 55 we take the 25% out of my pension that's allowed too.

AIBU that this makes me feel really uncertain?? I don't like the idea that my pension will be worth so much less! DH of course is saying, but it's OUR money at the end of the day and even if we split, pensions are a shared asset so I'd still benefit.

YABU - it's family money. Use your salary to live on and save more in DP pension

YANBU - you should both have separate pensions, and you should be paying more into yours not less...

DH is the much higher earner in our household and his pension is nearing threshold, so guess what? He’s increased payments into mine instead so we BOTH have better pensions!
take your own separate advice because his sounds wrong to me.

There is no threshold, unless you mean his annual contributions exceed £60K?

If he uses that huge pot to buy an annuity for himself then dies, you are fucked.

It's only family money whilst you are together, no one likes to think about it, but that could change. Tax efficiency is not a good reason to make you totally reliant on his pension, and living on your salary will mean you have no money for yourself-for me it would be a hard no. Completely refuse to take 25% out of your pension at 55- what does he want to fund, a second childhood?