Just unnecessarily rude?

[Fruilano]

It was my birthday on Saturday and was on holiday with my partner. His phone charger was not working and he had limited phone battery. We needed to transfer more cash to the currency card I use so we were discussing that. I said I'd transfer it and he said "just shut the fuck up while I try and transfer it before my phone dies". His phone then died in the middle of it which I said it's fine I'll just transfer the money and will sort when your phones working.. I've got all our spending for the last 5 days now till his phone is working again. AIBU to be upset with the way he has spoken to me? Felt very uncalled for but he justified it when I brought it up but it felt so aggressive.

It’s not ideal. Was he stressed and trying to concentrate? That annoys me when I’m trying to do a thing and people are talking at me. Does he often speak to you that way or is it out of character? That changes how I would view the situation.

A bit rude but he was probably stressing out.
Let it go and enjoy the rest of the holiday.

Yes very rude. He could have just said shush a minute while I do this, if he felt you were rabbiting on a bit

It doesn't really matter what any of us think. What matters is that you didn't like it, you communicated this to him and instead of apologising he justified it. That's a big problem with compatibility.

Is it otherwise a good relationship?

And where are you that he can't buy/borrow a charger?!

Does he have form for this? How does he normally react in other stressful situations?

Had he asked you to be quiet before his angry outburst?

It was very rude.
It sounds like you thought you were discussing it but he thought he was trying to concentrate on what he was doing and getting frustrated that he couldn't because you were talking.
No need to swear at you though.

Depends if he'd already asked you to leave him alone while he sorted it. It's a bit odd that you've only relied on loading a card between the two of you for spending money.

Err if my husband ever spoke to me like that he would not be my husband any longer! Your partner is extremely disrespectful to you and beyond rude.

In 30 years of knowing DH he has never said that. He wouldn’t be with me if he did.

Yes I'd be angry at being spoken to like that and expect an apology. If it's a regular thing then I'd consider whether you want to be with someone who treats you like that. If it's a one off because he's stressed out about his phone and in the middle of doing something, I'd expect an apology and then get on with enjoying your holiday.

Would totally depend on the full context of the situation and not just a snippet.
If I'm stressing and trying to do something and your constantly telling me "I'll just do it this way instead" and I've told you more than once to just let me concentrate on what I'm doing I'll likely snap, and probably say the same as your partner did. If it's the first time you've spoken to me while I'm trying to do the thing then I wouldn't.

Raise your standards OP. Would he speak to his mother like that?

I wouldn’t allow anyone to speak to me like that at all

If he speaks to you like this a lot, then that’s a problem.
if he was trying to do a time sensitive task and you kept talking to him and interrupting, then he snapped. Well that’s just life, people lose it occasionally and swear. Just forgive him and move on.

He was rude to you but I can understand, if someone is yaddering at me while I'm trying to do something tricky I would be irritated too.
Wouldn't break up a relationship /marriage over something so trival though if someone said it to me. Unless, it was a regular occurance but would have put a stop to it the first time it happened.

I wouldn't tolerate anyone telling me to stfu. That would be it for me. He has no respect for you.

Yes it was rude - but we can all be rude when we feel stressed and under pressure. I would expect an apology but would then move on.

Sounds to me he was under pressure and against the clock, trying very hard to concentrate on something before he run out of time and he couldn't listen to you as well.
Not the right way to react but I've seen it before.
I'd say if you can, forgive him.

Your partner's behaviour was uncalled for, bit tech issues have losing my rag several times a week. Speaking from experience, he probably knows that he was horrible and if he doesn't, get him told. It isn't his fault his charger went kaput, but nor is it yours. Can the charger be replaced? If so, try to source a new one as soon as possible, for your own sake (or he'll be bothering you for the use of your phone) and his (it'll sweeten his mood!)

Of course, the above only applies if he's generally even-tempered and considerate. If it's part of a wider pattern of evil-tempered abuse, ignore it.

Lighten up y’all. Swearing is banded about so much these days it lost its shock value decades ago. Many use it simply to ‘strongly reinforce’ something they want to communicate, no big deal. Unless of course every other word is punctuated by a swear, then that’s just very common behaviour !
I expect also, that if it was your birthday he would have felt quite ashamed to have to reimburse you afterwards, for all the meals and holiday spending ? Maybe he was simply letting you know how much he didn’t want this to happen, despite you being happy to oblige in the meantime.

Sorry have just seen the latest replies. I think what bothered me was how abrupt it was and it was as soon as I'd spoke to say you can just transfer me later that he snapped at me. I have let it go with him but I think it is a wider pattern of speaking to me with little respect, which I think is why it bothered me enough to even post about it. I swear so it's not actually the swearing that bothers me it was the aggressive nature of it and I think it's recently been a common occurrence just more jarring in the context of a holiday/ birthday.