to be annoyed that a nursery I was considering for dd2 would only let us visit when the children and staff weren't there?

[melpomene]

DD2 has just turned 3 and I've been wondering whether to send her to the nursery attached to dd1's school from September. (The alternative is keeping her at her current playgroup, where she is happy). So a couple of weeks ago I asked to look around the school nursery, and was told that the only time they could let us look around was at 9.30 this morning, to minimise disruption to the children.

The school headteacher met us (and 3 other families) and took us to the nursery, just as all the children were leaving to go and do PE in the hall. We then looked round an empty nursery, and didn't get to speak to any of the nursery staff at all. This all felt like rather a waste of time, because surely the staff and the quality of the interaction with children are fundamental when deciding whether a nursery is right for you? I'm very annoyed that they told us to come at that specific time (and dd1 had to miss half her session at her normal playgroup) and then we couldn't see what the nursery is like when children are in it.

AIBU?

YANBU in wanting to see around the nursery when the children are int it. BUT it is entirely possible although not liekly I suppose that the headteacher had not realised that the children were going to PE at that time when she booked you all.

Did you ask them about it and ask if you could see the nursery up and running in the day? WHen dd started at the nursey attatched to the local primary we went for a visit not long before she started and the class and the staff were all there and dd was encouraged to run about for the hour we were there painting pictures, glueing sticking whatever. I wouldn't say it caused any disruption to the class at all and dd had a great time and was more than happy to go when her time came.

I think if that is the nursery that is easiest for you and that you are keen on I would contact the head again and say you would like to see it when the class are in. If the refuse then they are maybe not the choice for you.

YANBU. I can sort of understand that the headteacher wants to minimise disruption to their routine etc.

BUT the very first nursery we looked around for dd was empty at the time (it was about 6.30pm), and the manager painted an idyllic picture of what the children did there and being newbies at this nursery lark we enrolled dd there and then.

The reality was VERY different and we took dd out after 3 months.

You really do need to meet and talk to the staff there who will be looking after your child and observe how they relate to the other children in their care. Theres no substitute for this really and we definitely learned our lesson the hard way!

Yes missyhissey, it did make me wonder for a moment if they had something to hide! Though their Ofsted is OK.

If I had been very keen on this nursery then I would have asked to hang around or return at another time to see the staff and children, but there are other factors weighing against it (eg the playgroup dd2 goes to now has a better staff ratio and much more flexible hours). So this has really tipped the balance in favour of staying at her existing playgroup, even if it does make the morning run a bit more difficult/time-consuming. Plus I know that dd2 is happy at the playgroup she is at now, and dd1 was happy there until she left to start school.

When I enrolled DD in her nursery it was after a full visit and the head teacher asking us to "pop by anytime we want to to see the nurserty in action".
I would not, under any circumstances enrol DD in a place that I hadn't seen in action. You must at least meet the teachers !
I would call and ask for another visit explaining that you want to see it 'working'. If she is odd or reluctant do not touch it with a barge pole.
Also - turn up at collecting time and watch the parents/carers and kids leaving. Speak to a couple of parents if you can

I have to say that I chose dd's current nursery attached to a school without seeing any classes in action. That is because all parents were invited to an Open Day on a Saturday where the school threw its doors open and there were older girls (10-12 years) to show us around and whom we could ask questions.

They are incredibly confident, well spoken and well turned out.

My dd is thriving in the nursery.

I think day nurseries could be more open about showing you rooms in action. But nurseries attached to schools maybe a little more stuffy because they tend to cater to older children rather than littles, and so parents just naturally have a smaller role in the day-to-day functionings.

See if you can get your information from another source. Are there any other parents with children in the nursery you can talk to? Ask the school for a PTA contact you can speak to?

Afterall, if you are looking at a nursery attached to a school, it is as much about the nursery as it is the higher classes that your dd will move up into.

I have dismissed one playschool as they don't seem very keen on letting me have a visit with my son. You have to put the child's name down, wait goodness knows how long to hear if you have a place, and then send him. Don't think so thanks.