Older brother

[Roundthemoon]

If you have one, do you get on with yours. Is he protective over you?

I have one older brother. No other siblings.

A woman said to me recently "oh I'd love to have an older brother".

I asked why. And she said "oh because he would be protective, you know watching over me, looking out for me".

She said she felt that she had missed out on the "older brother experience'

I dont know if she was imagining the ideal older brother.

My older brother has never been like that. If he ever rings me, it's to talk about his problems. He would never really ask much about my life.

I think he'd really like me looking after his problems if he could have that. He's definitely never looked after me in any way.

It got me wondering, what are other people's relationships like with their older brother?

We’re not emotionally close, and don’t ring each other but he’d do anything for me if I needed help. And my sister in law is the loveliest person.

I have an older brother. He does look out for me and would help if I was in trouble.

I have an older brother. Three years older than me. My only sibling.

I love him, he is one of my best friends! We have the same sense of humor.
We don't live close to each other anymore, but we text each other every day, and talk on the phone twice a week. Meet up 4 times a year.

Protective? I don't know? We look out for each other, and we can always tell each other about our problems. I can always call him if I need help with something, and vice versa.

Mine has been more violent to me over the years than everyone else put together. I needed protecting from, not by.

What a stereotype, dosent she realise not all older brothers the same just as older sisters aren't either?

She just fantasizing.

My older bro & I were best friends as teens/young adults. Now we don't talk.

No, he is not protective.

My brother is a few years older than me. We’re not close. I’ve always tried to keep in contact with him for the sake a relationship with my niece. Sadly I found out recently that he’d been physically abusive to several previous girlfriends and I won’t be trying to maintain that relationship anymore. I’m very sad about what I found out and will be going back to therapy to try to move past this.

He isn’t nice to my parents. Hasn’t seen them in months despite living less than an hour from them. He borrows money and doesn’t return it. He has anger management problems. He seems unable to manage alcohol and doesn’t know where to stop. Everything is somebody else’s fault but never his.

My biggest fear is that my son grows up to be this type of man. Every day I try to ‘do the work’ to prevent that from happening. Fingers crossed.

Did you tell your mum etc that he'd sexual abused you?
Did it come out?

My older brother is very protective of me. He's always looked after me. He doted on me growing up. When I was younger, late teens, early twenties, he'd take me out often. He'd open car doors, pull out my seat in a restaurant, all lovely things. I asked him once why he did all of that, and he said I'm teaching you now how you deserve to be treated by a man so that you don't settle for less when you meet the right person. He's always been a lovely big brother and I'd be lost without him. We have a younger brother, too. Older brother is 11 years older than him, and younger brother has always looked up to him as a father figure, especially as dad left when younger brother was only 4. I'm incredibly grateful for them both and love them dearly.

I have two. One I'm no contact with and another who sounds exactly like your brother. I have a sister who's the oldest out of all of us and she's my best friend. Cares more about me than herself

The most wonderful thing my brother has ever done for me is, when I was pregnant with DS, DB was travelling the world for his wedding anniversary. When DS was born, at five days old, DB and SIL booked a flight to travel to their next destination via the UK and stopped here. They had just 6 hours but he said he had to come and see me and DS before their next destination. That meant the world to me.

I have a brother who is nine years older than me. We never had much of a relationship growing up and i haven't spoken to him in nearly seven years now. He was never protective of me and never looked out for me or anything like that. He would either ignore me or shout at me if i tried to speak to him when i was a child and he would spend most of his time in his bedroom avoiding me and our other younger siblings, he would often refuse to go anywhere if me and/or our siblings were going. He enjoyed being an only child and resented the fact that our mother remarried and had more children.

He has tried to contact me a couple of times over the past few years but i'm not interested in having any sort of relationship with him now when he couldn't be bothered for the majority of my life.

Hahaaaaa I've just fallen out with mine.

I idolised him when we were kids, although he was really mean at times - names, threats etc. He then got mentally ill and I went into protective mode of him. He has now turned into a drug using arsehole. Just calls to talk at me.

I have younger dbs and they're still protective over me. We have our disagreements but I could hand on heart say if I called any of them any time day or night one of them would be here in a flash.

I have two older brothers. They are both lovely. One can be a bit selfish and can be a bit of a knob occasionally (not his fault! he was the golden boy!) but they are both fantastic and I am lucky to have them and would do anything for them (and vice versa).

My older brother is amazing. He was always there for me, supportive, kind and tbh a typical pain on the arse too! Loves still to wind me up. He is always there for advice and supported me through university and my post graduate work too. He is highly intelligent so always my go to for any advice related to work. From the minute I was brought home he loved me and was always watching out for me. My parents were so shocked at how well he took to a new baby due to having such a long time being number 1. We have always been close but he moved away and due to time differences don’t talk as much now which makes me a bit sad. We do still chat it’s just not the same because if he messages me by the time I’m awake and see it he’s in bed sleeping 🤣 I have so many happy memories of time we spent together growing up, he always had time for me. I often feel sad for my dd for missing out on having a big brother but do realise that the experience isn’t the same for everyone and I am very lucky!

@PassingStranger No I never told my mother as I didn't face up to it till after she died and my brother's arrogant behaviour made me take a long hard look at our relationship. I told my Ddad when my brother was getting married, as obviously I wasn't going and I was no longer prepared to cover up for him.
It's his dirty little secret not mine.

Yes, your friend has the rose tinted glasses on. I have two older brothers and they are quite different people.

My eldest brother and I were bullied by our other brother growing up and spent a lot of time out of the house. Other brother is the apple of mothers eye so he can do no wrong and we obviously wound him up.

My eldest brother and I have quite a nice relationship, I like him as a person and we can talk about things.

My other brother remains a bully and I feel sorry for his partner and son. I pity him though as he is quite sad deep down and he will call me when he's drunk and having a hard time. I forget he's quite fragile really. If he's pissing me off I can hit his insecurities like no one else after a lifetime of practice. He would be very happy to help me if I needed it but I'm very independent.

I think he wishes he was closer to us but you reap what you sow.