Toddler refuses to go in nursery

Lize90 · 2024-10-10T15:05:45+00:00

Heya, my 3,5 years old doesn’t like going to nursery anymore , she will just cry screaming on the way and during her session there. It’s her second year in the same nursery , last year was better for her she kinda enjoyed. Since she started again this September she just doesn’t like it anymore it’s such a bad feeling every morning , her teacher are saying they try everything but she can’t stop crying. Should I change her to a new nursery ? I don’t know what else to do. I’ll go and pick her up earlier every day .

Cantgetausername87 · 10/10/2024 16:07

I would get a meeting booked in to understand what's causing it and perhaps ask to see cctv of her if allowed if they don't tell you what she's saying?
Is it a new room and new staff?

Original poster

Lize90 · 10/10/2024 16:57

Cantgetausername87 · 10/10/2024 16:07

I would get a meeting booked in to understand what's causing it and perhaps ask to see cctv of her if allowed if they don't tell you what she's saying?
Is it a new room and new staff?

The moment I go there she will ask me to go somewhere she likes like shopping or to feed the ducks , my understanding is that she doesn’t want to be there , she doesn’t say why.

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Original poster

Lize90 · 10/10/2024 16:58

Lize90 · 10/10/2024 16:57

The moment I go there she will ask me to go somewhere she likes like shopping or to feed the ducks , my understanding is that she doesn’t want to be there , she doesn’t say why.

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The stuff are the same and the room is the same

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GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 10/10/2024 17:11

I did actually move my dd after she continued to dislike going into nursery for a long time.

At the second nursery, she went in happily.

There was nothing awful about the first one but she was bored I think.

CatOfTheLand · 10/10/2024 17:13

Is she finding it hard to be the 'big kid' now that all the 4-year-olds have left for school and new younger kids have arrived? Both mine took a few weeks to adjust to this. They really missed their older friends too.

Bearbookagainandagain · 10/10/2024 17:15

I would say that a lot of toddlers go through phases of disliking nursery/childcare, particularly after the holidays. We try to focus on the positives and talk a lot about the fun stuff they do there, their friends etc.

Part of it is they are trying to get you to change your mind and keep them home - which obviously isn't an option if you are working. If your child is particularly resilient, this might persist for a while, particularly if you "give in" by going to pick them up early. I'm not saying you shouldn't by the way, if my child was miserable and crying I would probably do the same, but it could be the reason why this is lasting longer than usual.

I don't see what changing nursery would achieve, particularly if there is nothing wrong with her current setting. Changing for a childminder or nanny might be a better option as they would have a more personalised approach.

Todaywasbetter · 10/10/2024 17:30

has a special friend or adult left recently?

Original poster

Lize90 · 10/10/2024 19:34

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 10/10/2024 17:11

I did actually move my dd after she continued to dislike going into nursery for a long time.

At the second nursery, she went in happily.

There was nothing awful about the first one but she was bored I think.

im thinking to change her as well as it’s so hard everyday … do you know if I have to wait till December until the contract is over ?

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Original poster

Lize90 · 11/10/2024 09:25

Bearbookagainandagain · 10/10/2024 17:15

I would say that a lot of toddlers go through phases of disliking nursery/childcare, particularly after the holidays. We try to focus on the positives and talk a lot about the fun stuff they do there, their friends etc.

Part of it is they are trying to get you to change your mind and keep them home - which obviously isn't an option if you are working. If your child is particularly resilient, this might persist for a while, particularly if you "give in" by going to pick them up early. I'm not saying you shouldn't by the way, if my child was miserable and crying I would probably do the same, but it could be the reason why this is lasting longer than usual.

I don't see what changing nursery would achieve, particularly if there is nothing wrong with her current setting. Changing for a childminder or nanny might be a better option as they would have a more personalised approach.

Thank you for your reply. The only thing that bothers me with this nursery is that every time she starts crying they call me and they say she unsettles the other kids with her crying so I feel they don’t want her there. So now she does cries in purpose so I’ll go and pick her up because she’s happy again after leaving the place…I’m just thinking a new place might understand her more…have more tactics…i really don’t know I might wait a couple more weeks and than change if she still doesn’t want to go .

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