To use money MIL gave me for something else?

[Redragonoteal]

MIL very much admired DD's boots last year and when she tried them on she said they fitted her perfectly. I said she could have them when DD had grown out of them. MIL pushed some money into my hand last time I saw her and said it was to use to buy DD some new boots. I've ordered some for her to try and assuming they fit, I'll have only spent a quarter of what MIL gave me. I'm 99.9% certain she won't accept the change back.

AIBU to use the rest to buy DD some sports kit for one of her hobbies, that I wouldn't have otherwise bought her? Currently uses second hand of DS that doesn't fit perfectly, but does the job.

Would you ask her first, or just let her assume I spent it all on boots?

I would ask.

Tell her how much the boots cost and ask if she wants the change in cash or paid into the bank. If she says keep then do as you wish.

Offer the change back and thank her for the money.

Chances are she'll refuse and you can then mention that she needs some kit for her hobby and say you'll use it that way.

This. It’s best to be upfront about it.

i agree with the above... offer the change back, which i'm fairly certain will be declined and then spend it on something else for DD.

I don't want to offend her by "refusing" the gift nor make her feel obliged to give something for the other DC, which is the kind of thing she would do.

Unless you expect her to say "no, I want you to return the boots you bought and buy something which is worth exactly the sum I gave you", I don't see what's the point of asking. My grandmother, bless her, still gives me money when I visit. She is not remotely interested what I spend it on as long as I "treat myself".

Agree with PPs, it’s this type of thing that becomes open to interpretation and misunderstandings and leads to conflict.

Just be honest with MIL - “you were super generous paying for DD’s new boots and it turns out they only cost £xx. Would you like the money back or should I buy some other things for DD such as new sports kit? I will be sure to let her know it was from Grandma”

Or something like that.

Just tell her the boots cost less, and ask if she wants the change, or for you to use it for the hobby stuff?

If she chooses to take offence at that, it’s really not on you.

If she found out you’d kept the change without telling her she’s much more likely to be offended.

This.
Definitely ask. If it came out later and you hadn’t, it wouldn’t be a good look!

she gave you an amount of money she was happy with for an item she wanted. What you do with the money now is upto you in my opinion. You didn’t specify an amount and she didn’t give you terms to spend it. I’d buy the kit and not tell her.

I don’t get the agonising, really. Just speak to her. She sounds lovely and would probably be delighted for you to use the money for DD. If it was an issue she would have asked how much new boots would be, I imagine.

Worst case scenario, she finds out how much the boots cost and that you kept the money without telling her. She might not mind, or she might think you’ve ripped her off.

tell her how much they cost and give her the difference.