To think we don't need mediation even though solicitor is saying we do

[VampireLikeBlood]

Do you need to go for mediation for a child arrangements order/ consent order?

Solicitor saying it’s a requirement before we can make a court application, but I thought mediation was for if we can’t come to an agreement?

We agree on everything and just want a formal court order.

you have to try mediation first before court unless there is DV involved. why do you need an order if you both agree? just do what you both agree - no need to involve the court at all.

As above, why get a court order if you agree on everything?

I think I understand - you want a court order to formalise and create a legally binding agreement for what you and your ex have already agreed.

But that's not what a court order is for. A court order is a sledgehammer to enforce a solution if you have irreconcilable differences if opinion.

A mediator is exactly what you need - and they can guide you for how to create a mutually accepted agreement document that you both sign and stick to without needing a court.

You cannot get a court order if you agree about everything. That is not what the court is for.

In children matters the court has to abide by the “no order principle” meaning it will only make an order if it is necessary. If you have agreed everything the court will likely think an order is not necessary. And going through the court process will require Cafcass to do safeguarding checks (these are mandatory and take time before a judge will even look at making an order).

A court order is not an administrative process. It is a judicial process that a judge makes a decision about. Very rarely (and I don’t think it’s likely in your case but I have known it happen) a judge will not agree with parties’ proposals and won’t approve an order.

Your solicitor is right; unless there is a history of DA you cannot circumvent the need for mediation either.

If you have agreed everything you just need to record in a solicitor’s letter (or even between you) what you have agreed. If one of you departs from the agreement without good reason that would be the time to go to court.

If you agree on everything there’s no need for a judge to be involved.

Courts are overburdened and expensive so it's in your interests and theirs to sort as much outside of court as possible.

You can apply to the court to make an agreement drawn up by a mediator legally binding but you would need to demonstrate why you need a binding agreement.

I presume you are divorcing. If you are divorcing, then a court always signs this off to protect everyone. You can apply for a divorce jointly or separately. You can avoid going to an actual court hearing if you agree on children, money and property. However a judge in family court will always have to sign it off. You must show you’ve attended a meeting to see if mediation is right for you before applying to a court. You will not have to in certain cases, for example if there’s been domestic abuse or social services are involved. So while you dont have to do mediation, you do have to demonstrate why. Your case would be reviewed and then a decision made whether you have to go to court. I had to in mine which was a pain but then my ex was an arse! If you are not divorcing and are partners only then you do not need to go to court. Your solicitor sounds pants as they should be explaining this all to you. Why dont you go to Citizens Advice.

Why would the solicitor be saying it’s a requirement if it wasn’t one? I’d listen to them before I’d listen to posters on the internet.

Yes you have to do mediation before you can apply for a court order. If mediation doesn't work the mediator gives you a letter saying so and that allows you to apply to court. You get 4 months after mediation fails to apply to court or you have to try mediation again.

Yes you need a CAO in case things go wrong it formalises things like holidays for example so people saying you don't need one are being stupid.

What you need is a consent order. You get the solicitor to draw up the consent order and both sign it. You then send it with a c100 application for a consent order. This will likely be signed off without having to attend court in person.

If you are getting a child arrangement order by consent you do not need to attend mediation first.

This is not true. You can apply for a child arrangement order as a consent order to create a legally binding document. You do not need to attend mediation for this type of application.

No you don't need one if you both agree as it's in the children's best interests if you don't have one.

This is because if your 11 year old decides they want to play with their mate for 3 weekends rather than see their dad they can with no repercussions on mum.