AIBU to be worried about 12 month ASQ

[TiredMummaChlo]

Hey all :)

Quick history- I am a FTM who had a traumatic birth. Was told by pead that we would 'need to monitor milestones' to see the potential impact. Cue massive anxiety for the first 5 months of her life. This improved with time passing, Neurology saying she is developing perfectly normally and FLASH therapy.

Anyway, we've just got the 10-12 month appointment through and ASQ. Feeling very frustrated as I've done so so much mental work to not over analyse my baby. Now I'm at it again. She's one week off ten months, and only gets a few yes' on the questionnaire. Some 'sometimes'. Quite a lot of 'not yets'. I think it's a bit mad to be asking 'can they say three words' or can they take steps?! There were some things I thought she was advanced in, but this questionnaire makes me doubt that.

I don't really know why I am posting but just feeling anxious again, frustrated with myself and the system, and wanted to get it out. Suppose I am wondering if anyone else felt the same, or have words of wisdom.

Thank you.

Try not to worry. My DS didn't tick any of the gross motor skill ones, couldn't bear weight on his feet and there were other categories where he didn't score very high. When he had his 2.5 year one he ticked most boxes and is now a very physical, capable, very clever 4 year old little boy who has started reception and doing amazingly well. It's very early and the range of 'normal' is huge at this stage. The HV will talk to you if there are any concerns but in the meantime try not to overly worry x

@Dracarys1 thanks for getting back to me. It's so kind of you. Reassuring that others have been in the same position and so glad you little one is all on track now 😊 I am definitely feeling a bit better about it now, just trying not to focus toooo much on the tick list!

DD1 had sepsis when she born and was monitored by neonatal outpatients for 2yrs to see if it caused any long term impact on milestones / development. She was quite behind on the 12month ASQ. Basically scored zero on gross motor, not a lot of words etc. Fine motor was pretty good. Consultant wasn't worried - saw her again at 18months, when she had started to catch up and discharged at 2yrs once she was walking (19months). HV was very exercised over the fact she couldn't jump for ages but she got there in the end.

We were told lots of babies who don't meet the ASQ catch up by age 3. DD1 is now just over 3yrs and although still a little behind in gross motor (referred to physio as HV thinks she might be hypermobile), she's doing really well and on track, if not ahead in most of the other areas. It's so hard not to worry, but maybe have another word with your HV if you are worried?

I should add i found it really hard not to compare to my NCT group, where there were loads of babies doing lots of things so early. It did upset me for a little while. But DD1 has consistently done things at her own speed and definitely has a personality to carve her own path, so as she's got older, I have learnt to try and not let it bother me.

Try not to worry. My son is 16 months old and still doesn’t tick everything on the 12 month ASQ. The health visitor said she has no concerns but just wants to keep an eye on a couple of small things and reassess if he’s still not doing them by 18 months. 10 months is so young and she has plenty of time to learn. My son was doing hardly any of it at 10 months and now is doing almost everything. It’s crazy how much they develop in a few months.

My daughter albeit prem didn’t get any ‘marks’ for the 12 month check and that was even going by her corrected age.

She is extremely behind on every single milestone even at 18 months she can’t sit aided or unaided. I’ve got 3 kids, and both my older children were really quick with their milestones, this made me worry even more.

I find the questionnaires frustrating and really dims down what they have achieved already. Focus on what your daughter can do and how you can encourage her to meet new milestones ☺️

Mine was the same. Ticked not a lot at ten months. Ticked way more at 12 months (two months is a large percentage of a one year old's life!) but not much still on speech. No one was worried and he spoke at 18m. Now two this week and talking loads!

I work with these forms and 100% don’t worry about the asq. The most ridiculous ones about poking a raisin in a bottle always make me laugh! I’m never sure what life skill that is assessing! Normal development is a spectrum and these questionnaires are only designed to pick up those children really struggling! Not to measure individual milestones or quantify development.
your little one will no doubt take their steps when they do and chat when they feel like it. By 12 months mine could stand but not walk and could only say maybe a couple of words at best! He didn’t wave or point until he could do it in context either. He’s meeting all his milestones now at 18m and is great at chatting. He never meets the “yes” boxes until the last week or so of the time frame. Some babies don’t walk till 18m and some don’t talk until nearer 2 so it’s all relative.
I promise that the age babies meet milestones generally means very very little in terms of their longer term potential development and achievements!
These questionnaires are really helpful to people like me to see a pattern of children struggling and then being able to refer them for a bit of help. So even if your little one does need a bit of extra help, it’s good that their health visitor will be able to offer advice or refer her on early.

Try not to worry. My son passed his two year check. But was also non verbal until 7! It's all open to interpretation and there's no way she heard him say one word.

How scientific is it really?

Thanks everyone. I've been meaning to reply. These responses were all really helpful to take in in the run up to the appointment (which we had this week).
I totally agree @CrispAppleStrudels that it is hard not to compare to antenatal group!
Thank you @Nomumfriends it does make sense that they just pick up any major concerns across the board.
It didn't help that my questionnaire was sent months before the appointment. You are right @Strawberrycheesecake7 they do change so quickly, especially approaching one year old they are doing new things almost on a daily basis.
Thanks everyone!