To need re assurance after dropping ds at nursery

[bliepenco]

Dropped ds at nursery this morning, he’s two. Gave me a little wave but as I left I could see through the internal windows that he was just stood there, nobody interacting with him despite a few staff in the room. The usual women wasn’t in who I know makes an effort with him.

Just felt horrendous leaving. He was stood there looking totally lost, nobody speaking to him at all. He does generally seem to enjoy it but I can’t get this image out of my head and I’ve never cried after dropping him off before but for some reason today I am in floods of tears. I have a meeting at 10am and just feel pathetic and sad. Looking for anyone to give some support I guess. It’s not like me to be so sensitive about something like this.

How long did you see him for, though? If it's just through the windows as you left, are we just talking a matter of seconds? And he was just standing there, not getting upset? He might have watched after you for a few seconds, then turned away perfectly happily to go play with the duplo or whatever.

Is there anything else going on that might have you feeling sensitive?

@skkyelark it was maybe 45 seconds and then I left as the doors opened again (have to wait to get out because of an issue with the electric doors at the moment).

He looked lost, not upset exactly. He just wanted some interaction. Usually they take him to an activity straight away but the staff in today were a different set and they are not as attentive. Just feel awful leaving him now.

He needs to learn to join in eventually. He won't be able to go through life expecting everyone to immediately interact with him. It's all part of normal learning. I am sure they won't leave him standing there for an entire day.
45 seconds is a very short time and he wasn't distressed. It's OK.

If it will help you feel better and focus on your day then just call them and ask if he's OK today - he seemed maybe not quite himself this morning and is he doing OK....I did this maybe twice in the 4 years DD was nursery, and they were very happy to reassure me, and sent me photos of her having fun in the sandpit with some pals.

If you're not constantly on the phone to them generally, there is no harm in calling to check.

And I guarantee he will have been totally fine about 10 seconds after you left. 🙂

He'll be fine, totally okay to feel this way though!

It's part of the benefit of nursery that a child doesn't get 100% focused attention every minute of the day. It gives them some space and time to experience things like boredom, choosing their own activity, approaching someone else to interact, soothing their own emotions. Obviously within limits, but a 2yr old standing for a couple minutes not super distressed while looking around is really fine. I bet as soon as you were out of sight someone went over to him or he went to play with something.

I think as a parent it will tug on our heart strings seeing our tiny child stood there alone away from us, feel the feelings and remind yourself he's safe, cared for, and fine.