Am I being unreasonable?

[KurlyKinks]

My ex partner lives in a studio flat currently and will not have our children overnight due to noise and space. He now wants to move into a shared house with people he does not know and wanting to have them stay there.
Am I being unreasonable to not want my very young children(4 & 1) staying in a house with strangers?
Also our youngest is very social phobic and does not like being around unfamiliar people, even with me there.
He thinks I'm unreasonable and just trying to cause issues but I feel he has not thought about the wellbeing of our children.

Total safeguarding risk. Wouldn’t be happy at all.

Much better to have them in the current studio flat. Spend the day outside then home in the evening to chill. I don't see the problem. How much space do they need?

Ridiculous he won't have them in his studio flat! Older one can ned share and the younger one in a travel cot.

By moving into the shared house it seems that he doesn't actually want to have them but the blame you for it.

Agree its a total safeguarding risk and really I can't see why he'd think it's a suitable "home" environment. Obviously rent is really expensive and it's necessary for people to house share, but he needs to think about what's best for the kids and staying over is probably not the best idea right now. He's probably better doing daytime with them until he's a bit more settled. Does he live far away from them? Or would you be willing to increase his contact to include another day/ evening?

There is a lot of information missing for you to be able to think this through in detail. Doesn't it depend on who the strangers are? Would the children be sleeping in the same room as their dad?

Is it a good thing to describe a 1 year old as a "social phobic"? Surely "not good with strangers yet" would suffice?

I have known single parents who lived in house shares. Not ideal, but I don't think anything bad happened. Others may have negative experiences though.

I've worked with a number of young people who were abused while parents were living in house share situations. Unfortunately dangerous people can appear very credible and in a living environment as they get more comfortable especially with two of them it's unrealistic to think dad will have eyes on the two of them 100% of the time. I've a friend who lived in a houseshare and his dd stayed overnight but he lived with a female friend he'd known for many many years which is totally different than strangers. One of my former houseshare roommates was a lovely girl until she started using drugs and became totally volatile. Just not an ideal set up unless you know the people really well which he won't.

No way would I let my children stay there 100% a safe guarding risk, I fact they would not even be going there.

They won't be strangers when he moves in with them..... im sure h wouldn't put his children in any danger. Hes their parents after all

I wouldn't be happy with this. And I'd be concerned that the house share people wouldn't be thinking with kids in mind. I'd be concerned they might do things like leave medications or other dangers where the kids could get access, because they just don't think about it.

I don't see how a room in a shared house is going to be more spacious and less noisy than a studio flat. Has he ever lived in a shared house, as it doesn't sound as if he has any concept of what it's like.

You've had your 1 years old child diagnosed as a social phobic??
How did that happen? Surely most little peeps are shy around strangers?
But 'social phobic'???????????

Oh you sweet summer child.

That would be absolute madness! He is not thinking. As said Studio flat would be far better if a big chaotic. Does he have family nearby where he could take dc when has them. I do know one adult now whose dad was a student and took her to student houseshare every second weekend and she is incredibly close to her dad but she was very fortunate it turned out well. I cannot even see the housemates being happy with this especially with a one year old. I don't think any court would sanction it so he has to come up with a better solution or stay where he is and plan that place better.

Has he even considered whether potential housemates would want kids staying over on a regular basis?

If I were his flatmate I would not be happy. Especially as I don't have kids by choice!

Is he complaining that the 'noise and space' issues are caused by the children?

It’s not ideal, but in all likelihood safe. Are there financial issues at play with the housing available to him?

Haha do you know him 😅 He certainly is but the noise complaints can't be from kids as he only has them 5hrs on a Saturday(daytime and his choice).

Apparently they love kids lol

I understand he in a tight budget but why not just stay where you are.
I don't understand how he thinks a studio is not a suitable place to take kids but a house with random is. Man logic 😂

Is there an arrangement in place? Can you prevent him from seeing his children?

There is no arrangement in place but I'm sure there will be now I have said I'm not happy with this set up.

It sounds as if he wants to rent a room to save money, but I agree it's not safe for the kids with strangers living in the shared house. They could be sex offenders or violent criminals, drug users - the list goes on. They aren't vetted properly and it's not right to have the kids in the same property.

Add to this the other people in the house and their rights and comfort - do they mind other people's kids being in the house? They pay rent to stay there, and it's not really fair to expect them to modify their behaviour in front of children that have been bought into the house - what if they want a good swear, or they want to get pissed in the communal area?

Just a silly idea all round, the bedsit sounds better. Tell him to stop being so tight.