To think I can afford a baby?

[user0910222]

I'm 33 years old and just found out I'm pregnant. Ex and I split up last week so I'll be going it alone. He also has no interest in the pregnancy (long story but he wasn't who I thought he was).

I want to keep the baby but I'm petrified that I won't be able to manage financially.

Earning a full time salary of 45K.
I own my own house outright (I got lucky with inheritance, and then also worked my butt off to become mortgage free).
Now left with 20K in savings.

Ex earns 60K so I know there will be some maintenance there but he also has 3 other kids. And whether he will even pay is another matter as I know lots of mothers who struggle to get their maintenance payments.

AIBU to think I can afford a baby alone with no financial help? I'll be out of work for a year, won't be able to go back to being full time. I'm so scared but I can't not have this baby.

I think you will be fine. 🙂Sorry not much advice but this sounds doable to me

Sounds like you'll be able to manage. Why won't you be able to go back full time?

I think you will be fine financially but what about practical help family, friends etc.

I think money is the least of the issues here.

Congratulations op!

You sound in a good position financially though depends on outgoings and your company’s maternity leave. Also if you can’t or don’t want return to that job full time, would you be able to work part time or have to find another job? I’d look into that and also local childcare and other practicalities.

Yes you will be able to afford it.

You will also be able to go back to work full time if that's what you want to do.

Nurseries are expensive and for a few years it can be tight to pay for them to enable you to work, but long term staying in full time work if you have the kind of job where progression and career development are available will serve you well. It's also worth thinking more long term about flexibility in work.

Pre-school age, there are private nurseries who provide childcare between 8am and 6pm. Once you get to reception age childcare is HARD. School might have breakfast clubs but it's not guaranteed, they might have an after school club but it's not guaranteed and often they only run till 5pm. Childminders can be hard to find and don't always do drop off and pick up. Lots of holiday clubs only start taking kids from yr 1 age so holiday care for a 4 yr old in reception can be difficult to source and you have 13 weeks to cover.

If staying in work through ages 1-4 means you can build up to a more flexible Work from Home role, it will benefit you when they start school.

Of course you'll be fine.

I’d do it in a heartbeat! Good luck!

Sounds doable to me given you have no mortgage.

You will be fine, people on benefits have kids and manage fine.
A baby needs love, stability, food and warmth and obviously clothing but tons of material things don't matter.
Happy Memories and love are worth more.

If you want to be a mum go for it . You sound motivated and organised you will make it work . Good luck

Of course you can. Higher than average earner, no mortgage and tons of savings. This puts you in a superior to 99% of pregnant women.

You have far far more money than the majority of people. I’d be more concerned about doing it alone, and how you’ll cope with that. And whether you want to have a child whose father doesn’t want it.

Thanks for all the messages.

I'll be honest I just assumed that going back full time wouldn't be an option due to childcare costs. Also my colleagues who have had babies never came back full time until their little one started school so i've always thought that's how it would pan out for me.

Raising a baby alone scares me but it is more the financial impact rather than the physical that worries me more. I've always been a believer that families come in all shapes and sizes, and I also have a great support network who would help me out with looking after and looking out for baby, I just don't want to have to ask for financial help.

I'm in an office surrounded by colleagues who earn a similar wage, have babies, but have their partner's wage on top of that.

I am very happy and excited but just wanted to hear some realistic views from everyone as I know it won't be an easy ride.

Of course you'll manage.
I'm doing it with two children and paying a mortgage, less income than you but I do get maintenance. It's hard work but worth it. I work full time and always have

With no mortgage and a decent salary (which you have) you will be fine.

You have a fairly low cost of living if you have no mortgage to pay. You have a hefty savings pot. Your ex is on good money and you can claim cms and have it taken directly from his pay packet if you think he will mess you around with payments. I think you've got this.

Do you have a friend or a family member who you could sit and run through exact figures with. You have no mortgage or rent - that's better than probably 95% of people who are having kids at your age! And 20k in savings, again if you have no mortgage or rent then this should cover your bills right? Or do you have existing children? You are understandably panicking, but I think sitting down and working out the actual finances will help - how much do you earn?

Sorry, just saw you are on 45k with no other children - do you live in an expensive part of the country with high commutes costs or something?

@Foxblue No children. This will be my first. I will be taking a proper look at figures once I've calmed down a bit and had time to digest all that is going on. I am most definitely in panic mode haha!

People on benefits have multiple children and manage, you've got no rent or mortgage which is usually the highest bill, decent savings and will get maternity leave and Child benefit. I really wouldn't worry.

@Foxblue I live in an affordable area, and my workplace is a 15 minute drive so hardly costs me anything.

I know I am on a good wage but I always thought that would become irrelevant as I will be out of work for a year, and then potentially have to sacrifice working full time. So that 45K wage won't really be there anymore.

Of course you can go back FT if you are mortgage free and earning a very decent salary.

You need to do a budget. We can’t say if you can afford it without knowing your income and outgoings!

You need to look into benefits you can get too.

Also childcare costs vary greatly even between different childminders/nurseries within the same area, it’s best to contact a few to get an idea of costs so then you can plan your return to work.

Go back to work full time while they can attend full time nursery

Having ££ later will ve valuable