To not expect to be asked if I’m going to exH wedding

[Heavier]

Loads of people have asked me if I am invited to my exH wedding to the OW. Has anyone experienced this? I don’t understand why they think he’d invite me or why I’d want to go. Quite a few of my friends are going but that doesn’t make me want to go. Surely it’s weird even if it is amicable. We do things together for the sake of the kids eg both go to parents eve. Occasionally we do get invited to the same social events as we have a lot of mutual friends from our time together. Has anyone been invited to or attended their exH/exW wedding?

YABU - as you spend time together you should be invited to the wedding & it’s fine for people to ask.

YANBU - it’s weird to be invited to your ex’s wedding & not strange that you wouldn’t want to go

If my dh ran of with an OW there is not a cat in hells chance I would go to their wedding. And no, not one single friend or acquaintance would ask me if I was going. It’s very odd.

To be honest I would have thought this to but it must be as they know we do sometimes socialise at the same events and have a lot of shared friends. I don’t think that’s the same though.

Are people fishing for a reaction from you?

Well, that would have been tricky, given that Diana had been dead for 7 years and 7 months at the time of Charles' and Camilla's wedding... :(

I think it’s odd your friends asked. Do they not know he cheated on you with her? In any case DSD’s mum came to our wedding but DH isn’t a cheating scumbag so it was fine.

Yes, but he had been a complaisant husband for years. Among the upper classes it's called a 'civilised arrangement', though if the plebs do it, the Daily Mail dosen't like it at all.

My husband's former MiL came to our wedding. We didn't invite his former wife though.

I’m on good terms with my ex husband. I would send a gift and a lovely card congratulating the couple on their nuptials.

However, I would not be attending the wedding.

No, she cordially declined on account of being dead.

A it’s none of their business! Sheer nosiness is motivating them to ask!

B it’s really tactless and cheeky to ask in the first place!

Op when people put the question to you I would let two beats go past, stand up very straight, look at them very steadily and hold eye contact, and say “why on earth would you want to know that?.

And watch them shrivel with embarrassment.

Tell them no, you'll go to their next one 🤣

Look at them like they are mad and say "no i went to the first one"

Depends on circumstances really. My husbands ex came to our wedding ( he went to her wedding and even on the grooms stag do). They are lovely and we enjoyed having them there. On the other hand I couldn’t think of anything worse than having my ex husband there. All depends how they get along I suppose but I wouldn’t say it’s too strange if it’s all on good terms

I left my exH for someone else, he came to our wedding. Then we went to his Wedding a couple of years later. No children involved.
Lots of mutual friends attended both days and thankfully no one judged anyone. People understood that sometimes things happen in life.

My XH came to my wedding to my second DH - we all spend time together because of of DD, he's just like a friend to us now so would have been weird not to.

none of my friends in situations similar to yours, have been invited.

you are clearly a very civilised set of coparents, for being amicable. Maybe your friends misunderstand this arrangement that you keep for the wellbeing of your children, as you and your ex being super cool about it all and now are buddies?

I went to my ex’s wedding. We were friends (still are 15 years later). Dh and I both went and they were invited to our wedding (but couldn’t attend as we lived in different countries at the time). The difference being that ex’s wife is not the OW (she’s actually lovely). Ex and I have no children together, so we are purely friends for the sake of being friendly.

I think if you are amicable and have dc together, it’s not necessarily a weird thing. My dad never remarried, but he had a long term partner. My mum and I used to do Christmas with them and birthdays and even went on holiday. Had they gotten married, my mum would have been invited. They kept things very mature and friendly for my benefit, but again, no OW involved. I think that makes a difference and makes it weird to ask.