AIBU to struggle with how to socialise if I can't drink, struggle with food and am knackered in the evenings?

[GetToThePunchline]

I have some health stuff going on atm and have given up alcohol, also don't have much appetite and am in bed by 9pm. It feels unreasonable to ask friends to meet early and have a non drink/ food related evening that ends at 8:30; just feels really precious and demanding. So far I am just saying no to meeting up but this is letting them down. Many have kids (and so do I) which means early evenings and weekends are tricky too.
Anyone else had this? How did you manage?

An evening out ending at 8:30 would be perfect for me, especially as a mum.

I don’t actually know many people who still have drunken late nights out anymore.

After work drinks, and you stick to AF? Meet for coffee and cake at the weekend?
Cinema? Invite them over early evening.
Your friends will understand if you aren’t up to partying. They might even be relieved.

I have friends that I just meet for breakfast sometimes, if that's possible? Obviously there's no alcohol, just an opportunity for a catch up.

Meet for brunch on a weekend. I also hate being out past 9pm

Meet for a light lunch at the weekend?

Can you meet people in the day time instead?
It's crap but I have just had to accept I can't do evening socialising really

I invite friends over for a chat or we meet at theirs.
If people work from home then lunchtime in the week can work well?

Just go to a little cafe and have a brew and a chat. They have the option of grabbing some food too if they're hungry. There are SO many things you can do that fit with your requirements here.

Have you talked to your friends about your issues? I had very similar last year and explained to my friends that I wasn't able to physically stay awake after 9ish and wasn't allowed to drink and was on a strict diet for medical reasons. They were really understanding and supportive and organised get together that I could get involved with.

Do you have to go out out? Are you able to catch up at each other's homes? I'll often have dinner with my bestie either at mine or her's, after all we both have to eat. Morning/afternoon tea and cake is the other option if schedules allow.

I met 2 friends after work last night. We met up at 6.30. One had been out for big lunch so only had a starter instead of a main. One wasn’t drinking as she is on antibiotics. We were done and heading home by 8.30. None of us have kids, just work long hours. We wanted to see each other and catch up, the other details were kinda irrelevant.

Would your health permit you to go walking? In lockdown I used to enjoy an early evening walk with a friend.

I don’t know many people with children who want a late evening out! It’s perfectly normal and fine to meet up during the day or late afternoon/early evening. If people want to have an alcoholic drink at 6pm, they certainly can! You can have a tea or a kombucha. I don’t drink and no I don’t really do late nights. I like to be home by 9pm and in bed with a herbal tea. Don’t really care who doesn’t like it! I’ll gladly just turn down anything later. Or I just leave people doing shots and acting like fools. Let me tell you, no one is thinking about me going home early the next morning when they are feeling rubbish and filled with regret and I’m up and feeling perky. 😂

I don't drink or enjoy eating out much. I meet friends for walks, yoga, theatre, gigs, galleries, exhibitions, to swim, NT properties, comedy nights, quizzes and random things we might like (a sound bath last week!) All of those things can be done prior to 9pm except gigs and some theatre/comedy unless you can get a 6pm show. A few weeks ago we went to a day club which was the best fun. That was a saturday though. Sometimes I meet them for a meal and just don't eat much (as long as you don't go on about it they don't notice) or a drink and drink soft drinks.

Im in the exact same situation as you. I’ve taken to meeting friends for an afternoon coffee without kids, or at one of the “nicer” soft plays where we can have a catch up with kids.

Some good thoughts here, thank you. Walks are a good idea if it's dry. Am actually more comfortable walking / standing than sat at a table. I'll ask a few friends if they'd be up for something like that and see if they are OK with something non drink / food related.