Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To bring maternity leave forward?

14 replies

bringingitforward · 09/10/2024 09:22

I’m torn on this one. I am really tired, have quite severe pelvic pain and just want to rest. DH has lots of time off coming up which he has to take and unfortunately it coincides with my last few weeks at work, then he’s back working when my maternity leave is supposed to start. I’m nearly 35 weeks and planned to work for another few weeks and then take 2 weeks of annual leave until my due date.

As it stands I do have 4 weeks of annual leave remaining but I had hoped to carry two weeks over so I can have longer off with my baby. SMP is not great as we know!

If I bring it forward, when I return to work next September I will have 33 days to use until April.

If I don’t bring it forward, I will have 43 days to use.

AIBU (ie will I hugely regret it) if I go on maternity leave sooner?

It’s our first baby and I know I’ll never get this time to myself, and just with DH, again. Family history down maternal side of having babies around the 37-38 week mark so in my mind I’ve not got long to go but equally I could be bored and it’s less time with baby especially if I go overdue.

OP posts:
Bushmillsbabe · 09/10/2024 09:25

Can you use leave to reduce your hours? With my first I used a day's leave every Wednesday for last couple months, so I only had to work 2 days, had a rest day, then 2 days and then weekend, made it much more manageable but didn't use too much of my leave so had more for after baby born

Peonies12 · 09/10/2024 09:28

ive never heard of it running in families when baby arrives. I worked til 39 weeks and I’m 41 weeks now; and I’m so glad I did. I’m bored enough now; would have been worse if I had finished sooner. And you need to scrap the word ‘overdue’! It’s perfectly normal to go to 42 weeks.

Original poster
bringingitforward · 09/10/2024 09:36

Bushmillsbabe · 09/10/2024 09:25

Can you use leave to reduce your hours? With my first I used a day's leave every Wednesday for last couple months, so I only had to work 2 days, had a rest day, then 2 days and then weekend, made it much more manageable but didn't use too much of my leave so had more for after baby born

I could do this tbh.

OP posts:
gbaxter · 09/10/2024 09:43

I would just go for what you need at the moment. I am currently on maternity leave (due to go into double maternity leave due to fallen pregnant again) and i had initially planned to work right up to 39 weeks, as i wanted as much time at the other end. I ended up only managing to get to 37 weeks, although i was desperately bored at home waiting, i needed that rest before hand. I had read at the time that its better to have that bit of respite before the birth rather than finishing work and then suddenly having the baby, if it happens that way, that is.

Things can change and you may find you want to return to work sooner, all you know is how you feel and what you want right now, so go with that.

KenIsAnAccessory · 09/10/2024 09:46

I have always finished up early-ish at 35 weeks or thereabouts (3DC). To an extent I understand trying to power through and save leave for later but I always felt taking it easy in the last couple of weeks of pregnancy really did me the power of good and set me up to go into birth and the newborn haze of exhaustion. No point being exhausted before the baby even arrives!

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 09/10/2024 09:51

What job do you do, OP? Can you work from home? I pushed myself to work up to 38 weeks both times and was glad I did so I had more paid time off with my babies.

Why does your DH have to take his leave now? Can he not negotiate to push it back to when you're due to give birth, or at least when you're 38 weeks ish?

SJM1988 · 09/10/2024 09:58

I finished at 36 weeks with both pregnancies. First time I got to the 36 weeks ok then realised how tired etc I was when I stopped. Second time I was counting down from about 32 weeks. It was hard the second time.
I took 3 weeks annual leave then maternity leave started at 39 weeks with both. First arrived at 41 weeks so I had about 5 weeks before baby arrived and second arrived at 39 weeks so I only had 3 weeks.
Honestly I was glad for the time off before the both arrived and didn't regret it. It was nice to just potter and get things ready. I cleaned and tidied, shopped and had meet ups with people I knew that didn't work. It was time to myself before the chaos of a baby entered our lives. Yes it took a few weeks away at the end of my maternity leave but honestly it was worth it 100%. I was relaxed and happy when baby arrived which I credit to my very quick labours.

EastEndQueen · 09/10/2024 10:04

I would start your mat leave OP (or use leave to give yourself a couple of days off a week, I did this in my 2nd pregnancy). It’s absolutely exhausting at the end.

I’m a midwife and in my personal experience lots of my clients leave it too late to go on leave. They arrive at delivery suite frazzled and exhausted which isn’t ideal. The transition into motherhood is HARD and rest is helpful

WhereIsMyLight · 09/10/2024 10:22

Your husband isn’t going to be able to have time off when the baby arrives, so using this time to get prepared as much as you can would be helpful - batch cooking, making sure everything prepped. Do you have family nearby that are likely going to be involved? Are you like to have date nights with family help or is it just you two? If the latter, you might enjoy a few nice days with him as it will be a while before you get that again. Also, you might be desperate to go back to work, I was, not everyone enjoys maternity leave. I used annual leave to go part time from about 34 weeks, finished at 37 weeks and used annual leave and baby was born at 38 weeks but I’d planned to start my maternity at 38 weeks anyway.

Bushmillsbabe · 09/10/2024 13:27

EastEndQueen · 09/10/2024 10:04

I would start your mat leave OP (or use leave to give yourself a couple of days off a week, I did this in my 2nd pregnancy). It’s absolutely exhausting at the end.

I’m a midwife and in my personal experience lots of my clients leave it too late to go on leave. They arrive at delivery suite frazzled and exhausted which isn’t ideal. The transition into motherhood is HARD and rest is helpful

Definitely agree with this. I stopped at 38 weeks with both, which was fine with baby 1 as she came at nearly 42 weeks, but baby 2 came the day after I stopped work and I was just so exhausted.
OP you know when you have reached the point you need to stop, just listen to your body

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 09/10/2024 13:35

Take the time off! Your health is important too.

My personal view is that people have lost sight of why mat leave is flexible as to timing - it was always envisaged that many women would need time off in late pregnancy due to the strain of pregnancy itself.

Wanting to have more time with the baby is a lovely thing but it’s not always possible and it won’t make any difference to him/ her in the long run.

MsGoodenough · 04/04/2025 17:51

I had 5 weeks may leave before DD arrived and they were blissful.the best 5 weeks of the mat leave! If you are ready then go.

SpanThatWorld · 05/04/2025 07:20

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 09/10/2024 13:35

Take the time off! Your health is important too.

My personal view is that people have lost sight of why mat leave is flexible as to timing - it was always envisaged that many women would need time off in late pregnancy due to the strain of pregnancy itself.

Wanting to have more time with the baby is a lovely thing but it’s not always possible and it won’t make any difference to him/ her in the long run.

My kids are all adults now. My maternity leave allowance included a couple of weeks that had to be taken before your due date. If you didn't take them before, you lost them.

I loved those last few weeks of pottering about.

minnienono · 05/04/2025 07:25

Start your maternity leave now then use the annual leave later so you can ease yourself back. It was normal to finish at 34 weeks in the past , I fished at 35 and that was considered late, maternity leave has always been rubbish so it wasn’t that you got more money!

New posts on this thread. Refresh page