who is Unreasonable here-ME, DS(4) or HIS AUNT?

[Elephantsbreath]

This afternoon I took my 4 year old ds to see my sister (38) and nieces. We were supposed to go out to the park but they took such a long time getting themselves together my ds said "Actually I don't want to go with them anymore I just want you to take me'. I said 'Darling that's rude to say that' Upon which my sister said 'Yes you are very rude and very hurtful' and stormed off.

Ds started crying. I sat him on my lap and told him that when we say something that upsets someone we can make it better by saying we are sorry. He was sobbing but tried to say sorry. My sister ignored him. Then she told us to leave.
I got cross with her, we argued & ds and I left.

Ds does need to learn some social skills clearly and quite often tells them what he wants to do a bit bluntly (poss as a result of my encouraging him to be assertive) but he is 4 ffs.

Now I'm furious with my sister for being so blardy over the top and cross with myself for trying to get ds to apologise and wish I'd just stuck up for him in the first place as his Aunt is a first-class nutjob.. Which one of us is BU?

Good thing is that it's not too late to make amends tomorrow. ds is 3.5 and yesterday I handled something badly and ended up breaking a (small) promise to him, he was very upset and I couldn't make it right even though we talked about it at the time. This morning we had another talk and I said I was very sorry and he said to me "that's OK mummy, that was a very nice sorry and I'm all OK now you've said it"

Made me feel very small, actually

But it wasn't too late, so maybe you could try and make him feel better about it in the morning? And yes, incidentally, your sister behaved like a cow. How utterly vile to be so mean to a 4 year old boy

yes I will make it up to him tomorrow. Want him to know that I'm on his side. I'm so pleased I posted this thread tonight.

I am glad that we have made you feel a bit better

The jury of MN is always right you know

lol

(and she really does sound a bit unbalanced if she reacted to a 4 yr old that way)

He sounds fab though

Poor little chap. He said how he felt - and don't they all do that . Mine come out with some classics. Everyone got upset he apologized. She should have done the same imo. I apologize to my two when I've been over the top too. Well done to you and to you ds for behaving brilliantly. For what it's worth I'd have done the same as you.